T O P

Cursed IOs evolution

Cursed IOs evolution

Flair_Helper

Hey there, Mijonin! thanks for posting to /r/cursedcomments!! Unfortunately, your submission "*Cursed IOs evolution*" has been removed for the following reason(s): --- **Rule 8: Keep It Cursed** - Not Cursed Enough/At All - A cursed comment is any comment that strikes the reader into oblivion. Upon seeing a cursed comment, your first reaction should be among the lines of “What the F*$k did I just read??” while leaving you speechless at the same time. Incomprehension of the comment just read, or the blatant gruesomeness of it should be enough to not only make you feel mystified but also to draw a smile on your face. The comment in your post does not reflect that. --- *^If ^you ^have ^any ^questions, ^you ^can ^message ^the ^mod ^team ^through ^[modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/cursedcomments) ^Replies ^to ^this ^removal ^comment ^will ^not ^be ^answered.* ^(Reposting a removed post without express moderator approval will result in a ban.)


asianabsinthe

iDildo?


muschims

iBeads


Charleroy26

iPlug


asianabsinthe

Holup, this is Apple. Need to buy all 3.


Bone_Wh33l

Then buy the slightly larger and more expensive versions that come out a year later.


StpPstngMmsOnMyPrnAp

With ass expanding and all you'd want your asspods to stay in


patsharpesmullet

Don't forget the assdock which no one really knows what it does.


SexySEAL

its a big over priced subwoofer that you plug into your ass. **FEEL THE BASS**


BlazerStoner

This year I actually went with the smaller Mini-model. Has better grip you know.


Magne_Rex

They need to be for airplay compatibility, sync with what your watching, an all new perfectly machined smooth recycled aluminium finish. (Taptic engine inside and siri integration is standard)


Honeysenpaiharuchan

Siri integration? This would give “talking out of your ass” a whole new meaning.


Podju

Wait you mean I need ANOTHER dongle????


Busters-Hand

And the Dongle becomes a Dingle


1Eternallylost

This one's a dingle dongle.


CaptRex01

Use all three at once and vibrate hard enough that your cheeks pulverise concrete


and1984

and connect then together in Zee Human Centipede style


Honeysenpaiharuchan

All three also take a different charger, each sold separately.


mountainmycelium

iCame


HighVulgarian

iDidarod


GoatEatingTroll

https://imgur.com/gallery/NJ5pqyX Convenient subwoofer....


septheneighbour

no lie… I would totally buy a subwoofer butt plug. why has no one done this yet.


furboi3000

And ILube for $500


NeutralGoodAtHeart

More likely a recurring subscription with just in time shipping for only $14.99 a month plus shipping and handling. You can upgrade to the privacy level for plain packaging!


jaspersurfer

iHole


gbuub

IANAL


memeticmachine

iNal-Plug Pro


YeahMarkYeah

This is the best


ohnomoto450

That's the subwoofer periphery


Courage-4-Suicide

Totes would buy. Bluetooth capabilities and even different lighting modes so you can see what’s happening in the darkest parts of my.....


corgie93

icock ring


Mystery_Meat_69

Set up the Doom OST!


damnatio_memoriae

pretty sure the houston astros already tested prototypes for that one. should be on the market by now. not sure why apple's still sitting on it.


Talaveror

Pun intended?


damnatio_memoriae

you bet your butt(plug)


TylerwazntheRe

My guess


zahirano

If they don't put anal beads by pink guy i wouldn't buy


ADHDtypebeat

You've heard of iPhone, get ready for iMoan


DoinIt4TheDoots

Anal woofer


Gilthar

Name your price


FV4030

iNeedtostopshovingthingsinmyass


Staffordmeister

Only plays 'fortunate son'


neoanguiano

iSuppository


KebabChef

The future is now. Feel the music [in your ass](https://i.imgur.com/4ce8LZX.jpg).


FilipinoOompaLoompa

CMON FEEL THE NOISE


Winter_Eternal

Cum on feel the noize* E:as per the 'mental health' album


longshot

A) cum on B) feel the noise C) both


Lithominium

best suited for doom eternal soundtrack


GOD-PORING

Finally Spatial Audio and Dolby Assmos fully utilized


TheBigerGamer

For best experience, we recommend to use it after eating at Taco Bell.


Lithominium

thats just to prevent taco bell from happening


LordDongler

How do you eat taco bell? Am I doing it wrong?


Kalyion

Anally vore it, duh.


LordDongler

It's not vore when it isn't alive. Are you trying to tell me something?


_i_am_root

Wouldn’t actually mind something like that tbh, if Apple decided to make butt plugs they’d probably make something quality.


[deleted]

[удалено]


WinterSldier

Post it again do that it’s worth it !!


BlazerStoner

*THX deep note intro plays*


Loqubs

ITS SUCH A... Good Vibration. Cmon, feel it feel it.


Nappleseed

First you had ToothTunes. Now you have ButtBops.


Furny_D

AssAnthems


Mihicular

RectumRockers


Diogenes-Disciple

PrisonPocketPop


Ulrich_Schnauss

SphincterSonatas


Furny_D

TooshyTunes


Isaacs_bot_nissacs

BootyBlues


Coocchi

Prostateperformances


captainjake9

Bundahhbangers


Hernia-Haven

Canciones de cola


Capta1nRon

iPlug


nytel

/r/bandnames


longshot

TootTunes


PKMNTrainerMark

ToothTunes. Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time.


1Eternallylost

I think you meant 'buttbeats'.


TiedMyDickInAKnot

I’ve got Katy Perry in my ass...FINALLY.


MaverickYF

I NEED THAT BASS BOOST


jomarez

I want to be in hers


ILoveYourDadd

ok


N0tBappo

What an interesting statement


shawnisboring

bonk


OhHiMarkDoe

I remember when i needed to decide what songs will go on my 256mb mp3player. Jesus, im old.


MAXIMUM-BUTT-FARTS

I remember carrying a case of CDs to school so I could listen to a nice variety on the school bus ride home


su5

I remember I had a soft leather case of every 36 Mafia CD. We called it The Book of Grime.


FuckingKilljoy

Fuck that's the coolest thing I've ever heard


Sander-F-Cohen

Look at Mr. Big Shot here with his 256Mb.


Butterbean-queen

I remember the first time I saw one. Mind blown! But I come from the era when an IBM System 36 was the bomb.


EddieYetin

Laughs in 8 tracks.


GalaxyCube101

Following this pattern, in the year 2039 we should either have 3,600,000,000,000 songs (multiplication) or 119,999,000 songs (addition). In both cases, the man who posted the comment would be predicting a time more than 19 years in the future. Unfortunately if you are strictly following the pattern, you would never see 12,000,000,000,000 advertised on any 19 year increment.


TollyThaWally

The numbers represent different things though, the 2001 ad is saying you can *store* 1,000 songs with the storage capacity that the iPod has. The 2020 ad is saying that there's 60 million songs available to stream across the entirety of Apple Music. The largest capacity iPhone is 512GB, which can hold \~128,000 downloaded songs depending on length (assuming you have literally nothing else on the phone).


CleanWeek

Exponential growth would bring it to ~146.739 quintillion (146,739,023,484,331,379,844)


kohal2290

And still no headphone jack!


damnatio_memoriae

i don't even want to think about the headache that syncing my head to my iPlug is going to cause in the year 2069.


Human-Extinction

Headache and ass ache, if my stupid headset thought me anything, I'll have to plug the iDildo in and out as I continuously try to synch it with my head.


kohal2290

20nice


arthurdentstowels

You don’t need a headphone jack when you have a butt plug


thewebspinner

Centipedes? In MY vagina?


dar_uniya

It's more likely than you think.


grant-hellsling

Thank you Albert


EducationalZone3994

someone do the maths quick! if 10 million songs can fit on the apple watch, then how many are up his ass?


bistix

I've been able to fit up to 37 apple watch faces without the band in my ass at once to help you with your math


isaiahgloriosus

That’s 370 million songs


IShouldNotTalk

MFW the bass drops...


grocket

I said what what in the butt


AragornBinArathorn

The fact they said '60 million songs' is just absurb.. I mean who has 60 million songs?


BlazerStoner

Apple Music, obviously hehe. This is about the amount of songs you have access to, not necessarily the amount of songs you stored in library/on phone.


itzesxoxtzovctzovctz

Professor Barclay, stop being badass


RoBuilder

2 billion gone from your wallet.


Daniel_Large

Well, you know what they say... "necessity is the mother of innovation"


FLOHJO

I saw this months ago, and I’m laughing just as hard now as I was then.


qwertash1

meh only like 4 4k blu rays


Exo-Observer

???? Lmfao!! The IPlug 1.0? 4 TB of storage, self lubricating, comes with optional furry tail click on for 'fun times' while rocking to tunes. ​ Need some serious keggle skills to skip to the next track.


PainTrainMD

That iBass accessory will basically be a butt plug


Limp_Distribution

The iPlug


PoeJascoe

The iPod rectum. Listen to your number one favorite song, and number two


TheCookieJar12

Imagine pounding some ass then Never Gonna Give You Up plays out his ass


dcamp919

All at once?


DlardYT

Wait thats a good idea


cursedrobot

Upvote this comment if the post is a **Cursed Comment**. Downvote this comment if it is not a **Cursed Comment**. If this post needs moderator attention, please **report** this post *^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^and ^^this ^^action ^^was ^^performed ^^automatically. ^^If ^^you ^^have ^^any ^^questions, ^^please [^^contact ^^the ^^moderators ^^of ^^this ^^subreddit.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fcursedcomments&subject=&message=Please include the action number for reference.)* --- If you want to talk about the subreddit, feel free to send us a message in [our official Discord server](https://discord.gg/tDzGCfc)! ^[faq](https://bit.ly/2VcIh9g) ^| ^[source](https://bit.ly/2W09Ebb) ^| ^action ^#[39ac4de2617608](/r/cursedlogs/comments/nwvu4s/39ac4de2617608_commented_on_post_cursed_ios/)


Hexateck

Butt blast by Apple, Bone conductivity for you and anyone else when you crank it. Using the pelvis bone as an amplification dish, anyone can enjoy the sweet sound of your organs rupturing. The cheeks are alive with the sound of music. With song you won't unhear, for thousands of years.


ThisIsProbablyOkay

iPood.


Achaeminus

The worlds music library, now in your mind, with ads!


TheDuskTrainer

Details and price


lenmit1001

The Tripods are coming


Cptn-Hien

The iPound


SteveHarveysAunt

the iPlug


no-longer-a-1412

You've heard of Uranus. Now get ready for iAnus


Ascalaiis

Do you know bee?


Emperor_Quintana

The iSuppository.


Stinky_Eastwood

1000 is too many


FireNova2135

I love professor Barclay


maskedramen

r/ipod


Im-a-bad-sinner

Who knows, we haven’t made it to Uranus yet, couldn’t be the craziest thing we’ve seen, there’s planets raining diamonds


Bryanadamz

A but plug that doubles as a base speaker is just what humanity is lacking


mr_freeman215

AirPods with the bASS plugin, AirPlug.


Da_Lazy_Lad

Humans as a species have made 60 million different songs? Is this true?


SjorsMaster

iOAss


George_Danford

"Plug." "Which Plug?" "The Buttplug, of course."


Warack

I’m lactose intolerant, wanna hear Bohemian Rhapsody?


GoodyMas

My anus only knows a few songs, and they stink.


damasu950

That's fine. As long as it's not a subscription.


AZ_Gunner_69

They sell vibrators that hook up to your phone and they pulse to the beat


Tomasobhroinn

And most are shite


xombae

This is already a thing I've already got a sex toy that can sync with my Spotify through Bluetooth and vibes to the rhythm of the songs. The one for your vagina is called Lush and the one for your butt is called Hush.


SaucyBread815

that adds up to 20,000 Apple Watches in his anus


rumorhasit_

I wonder what he is a professor of?


emptybucketpenis

Where do I sign???


Hyst3r1ACS

[rectal computer ](https://youtu.be/y-bYSC6OT6s)


jestrrrrrrr

The brand new, industry breaking iCock, with haptic feedback and Siri integration.


Its_0ver_Anakin

What about that chip Elon Musk made Infinity songs in your head


Pizza_Rato

Elon Musk has not made anything


Its_0ver_Anakin

So [this](https://blog.son-video.com/en/2020/09/news-streaming-music-with-elon-musks-neuralink-brain-chip/) is just a joke? Not real?


Pizza_Rato

It's not a joke, it might be a thing in the future, but he has not made anything.


Its_0ver_Anakin

Oh alright. Thank you


Zandrick

I wonder was there really only 1000 songs on the iPod or were they clever enough to see they’d want to increase the number in future advertisement. 1000 just seems so small, or maybe it seems like a lot if you’re use to 12-15 track CDs and tapes.


yolo3558

Size of the file’s effected how many songs could be stored also.


RAMbo-AF

He did the math.


Vaporwave_Supreme

You have to clinch your cheeks to start and pause the music.


the_anarchyy

The human centipad


Goatman_Jack

The ibAss plug. Turn your asshole into a subwoofer for your favorite songs


bruhred

2001 - 1000 songs 2020 - 0 songs, everything is on apple servers


R3B3110

It’s called urInus


ImN0tAlright

Professor Barclay wildin


SpideyMGAV

That's 20,000 watches. In your ass.


The-TrueNugget

I don’t get the third one


thebruce123456789

Thunderstruck/any poop related song every time you take a shit


BackRiverGhost

Professor Barclay for president.


0w4r1

Who the hell listen to 60 Million songs? I barely listen a hundred


hexaltee

Two trucks


r_cub_94

The new Apple iBeans


Minitrain

Quadrillion songs in my balls


Champion-raven

Hmmm


freshbuttjuice

So, we’re all in agreeable that even 1000 songs was a bit much?


YTRoughandtough

Cursed name


KrakenJoker

Bluetooth will suck while using the new iNus


Juulol

its going to be 12 trillion songs in your head


jud852

Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass.


Red_Marxman

iPlug and it works as a subwoffer for the air pod


blueblur1984

12 trillion songs in my anus? That sounds like a real...*stretch*


Sailor_Dee_

Idildo 12! the dildo with 5 cameras on it! It's even smaller then the last Idildo if you want to expand it well your gonna need **data**


whiteghost12617

Unhappy, scared and worried. But this made me laugh, thanks op


ChingChongMexican

I swear I’ve seen this same Twitter user in multiple memes


myklclark

He must have the new iPlug Bluetooth butt plug.


van-sucks

Iprobe


GHOSTEE538

iPhone 24, special edition


Mrunlikable

Every time you fart a song plays. You're just sitting on the bus when all of a sudden Smash Mouth starts blaring.


MobyHugeFun

So you're telling me that when I fart I full on blast full boom bass music? Shut up and take my money


lxke0

Ha 😐


mittromneyshaircut

Side q— is that album art from Conference of Trees by Pantha du Prince? Great album


rml23

I still use my IPod exclusively in my car, although it has to stay plugged in 24/7 because the battery is shot.


munimjaffer

How is that even funny? Cringe!


usernamechexin

But can it do it without the iPhone? Or the earbuds?


Iceaura39

They feature the trumpet quite heavily.