Raccoons climbed in my garage window and ate all my raccoon repellant.
By - HighQualityH20h
Well that will repel you from buying it again for sure.
I had a raccoon eat an entire pack of cigarettes I left outside. Like seriously, they took off the filters and ate all the tobacco. Do you know how nasty that tastes? I swear those things just don't have taste buds or something.
I imagine some of the stuff they may eat out of a garbage can makes the cigarettes taste good by comparison.
I’ve eaten a lot of cigarettes and you’re not wrong
Are you a raccoon?
No one knows you’re a raccoon on the internet
He prefers trash panda. Thank you very much.
We're all equals here
rockonfoo..rackoonfo.. it was right in front of our eyes the whole time!
Wtf don’t doxx the raccoon.
["Honestly, until this exact second, I thought you were a Build-A-Bear."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qbmfj_v-tFc)
Do you first light the cigarette before eating it, or do you prefer raw?
He likes them raw and wriggling
Or they've eaten enough cigarettes in trash by accident that they now have a nicotine addiction.
I would really like a drawing of a raccoon outside a raccoon bar leaned up against a wall smoking a cigarette.
I want to see one like the meme of Ben Affleck (but put the raccoon in his place) standing outside having that first drag of the smoke looking like life is rough lol
There's an old wives tale about animals eating tobacco when they have worms. Not sure if it's true but maybe you just have worm filled racoons
I assume most raccoons are worm-infested
before modern sanitation pretty much everyone had worms.... theres even a theory that *not* having worms is why autoimmune diseases are so common nowadays.
I would like to subscribe to #wormfacts.
Thank you for subscribing to WormFacts!
Lacking lungs or other specialized respiratory organs, earthworms breathe through their skin.
To continue your daily subscription, please respond with "Worms rule, birds drool"
So they're like the opposite of dogs then
Lacking skin or other specialized...skin organs, dogs breathe through their lungs.
Dog help us
Worms rule, birds drool
Thank you for continuing your subscription to WormFacts!
Earthworms come in a seemly infinite variety—around 6,000 species worldwide.
To continue your subscription, please respond with "Worms rule, Toads drool"
Worms rule, Toads drool
Thank you for continuing your subscription to WormFacts!
Of the more than 180 earthworm species found in the U.S. and Canada, 60 are invasive species, brought over from the Old World, including the night crawler.
To continue your subscription, please respond with "Worms rule, snakes drool"
Birds aren't even real.
Me and my mom are always arguing because she says everyone is worms and I just look at her crazy
Edit: I meant has
"EVERYONE IS WORMS."
WE ARE ALL WORMS ON THIS BLESSED DAY
she's not wrong. She's just thinking ahead.
Orrr the people that had autoimmune diseases died young so there would be less of them naturally. Kind of like how there are "more" autistic kids in the last 20 years because it is recognized albetter and there are literally more people.
I think the theory is that your immune system is "over-tuned" towards threats, mainly because the immune system would be dealing with constant parasite infections and needs to be on guard for additional threats. However, with modern hygiene, these threats are not as prevalent and therefore your "over-tuned" immune system ends up attacking friendly cells.
I do not know the merit of this theory but I remember being taught it in college as a potential explanation of auto immune diseases
modern immune system is bored!
Fucker didn't even study for Covid....
There is evidence that modern pollution can get attached to pollen allowing it deeper into the sinuses than it could normally get on its own. Particularly diesel fumes
>modern immune system is bored!
I think that's another theory for allergies and auto-immune diseases.
The immune system wasn't exposed to these substances early on so overreacts.
I just wanted to say, I have an auto-immune disease and have been taught the same thing. I also heard it can be an issue if you grew up in a less-sterile environment and then moved somewhere more sterile, aka used to have worms as a toddler/small child. No sources though, just word of mouth through a few friends who were working towards their PHD’s at that time.
I would like a source so I can have hard evidence backing up my slovenliness and mess, instead of the depression and anxiety that it's probably a symptom of.
This is also why early healthy living advocates usually pushed vegetarianism.
The founders of Seventh-day Adventist Church also pushed healthy living and vegetarianism.
People noticed when they stopped eating meat they felt better and their bowel movements improved - likely because they weren’t constantly consuming worms.
In my theory a lot of religious text began as scientists just trying to make sure everyone doesn't shit themselves to death.
"God says boil the water!"
I mean boiling and fermentation, ie brewing beer and wine was really just to get safe liquid to drink.
I’ve thought about that with Native Americans using 100% of the animals they kill to “honor their spirit/sacrifice”. It is also a great way to avoid attracting pests, scavengers, and predators.
In my culture we use 100% of the animals we kill to honor the deliciousness of hotdogs.
> I’ve thought about that with Native Americans using 100% of the animals they kill
This isn't really true and comes form the whole 'noble savage' line of thought. Since most natives were nomadic they did often leave animal parts behind.
I’m no expert on Native American prehistory, but were the people who said that nomadic?
Some were - the Great Plains tribes that followed the Buffalo herds. Some weren’t - most the tribes around the Great Lakes were agricultural societies.
> This is also why early healthy living advocates usually pushed vegetarianism.
they were the original r/nofap too.
Kellogg's cereal was designed to be bland so as to (*edit:*) ***not*** "inflame the passions" iirc
Yeah the Kellogg brother that invented the cereal originally made it with no sugar or salt, literally just cooked flakes of grain. He believed that everyone was born with a finite amount of life force, and the more pleasure you experienced (any kind of pleasure, not just sexual) would drain more of your life force away and shorten your life. So he preached that the key to a long, "healthy" life was essentially depriving yourself of all enjoyment of anything ever.
I love the idea that if you're bored, lonely, and have never had a tasty meal in your entire life, you're basically immortal.
I heard some guy on NPR years ago talk about how he gave himself worms to cure his allergies. He said the key to was to keep the worm infection in check. You can't just let them go crazy on you. I think I'll wait for the science to be a little more settled on this one before I go buy some worms.
Fantastic thread while having lunch
You sure are right, stinky-weaselteats
As someone who's eaten cigarettes, it's actually surprisingly sweet after you get past the nicotine taste, yes I vomited afterwords- yes I was 6 - kids are fuckjng stupid.
There's no warning against eating them on the package. Your parents should have sued.
well theres no warning against drinking it on gasoline too,
[daddy needs his juice](https://youtu.be/H6Qq3CTNqUk)
I’m amazed you remember it so well.
A whole one? Lucky you vomited, eating a cigarette can kill you at that age, as an adult eating 2 is enough
Maybe he learned he could catch a nice buzz. Tobacco is orally active after all.
I had a racoon eat the contents of an entire tackle box, including part of a bobber. Completely cleaned out, no idea what it did with some of the hooks in the fake bait but I'm 100% sure it died horribly
Ugh I had a horse that did that. Ate an entire carton that was left in someone's car with the window down.
Lmao that’s terrible! Did the Horse survive or get very ill?
Surprisingly was totally fine! Which is strange, because if you look at a horse wrong they will become injured.
Ya see, horses are completely immune to silly things like poison. But if the same tree they've seen every day for their entire lives moves just a little funny in the wind -- *instant death*.
Lol... ours has got laminitus at the moment, and is pretty restricted in what he can eat.
My cat has tried to eat a cigarette before (my ex smoked, I do NOT). He definitely doesn't have worms. He goes crazy over them and will try to get into a box if it's left out on a table.
Did he smoke menthols? I got curious and googled it. That’s very strange
[“The organic compound within menthol produces reactions akin to catnip”](https://hive.blog/cats/@aipaws/why-does-my-cat-like-cigarettes)
I mean, catnip is a type of mint, and menthol is derived from mint... seems reasonable to me!
My cat loves catnip but hates my menthol cigarettes. Good for her, she makes better choices than I do.
My brothers cat loves unlit cigarettes but hates the smoke smell (smoker hands etc.). I lost a smoke once and a day or two later my brother was asking why I left a cigarette out, the cat tore it up!
She also really likes the smell of coffee. It’s actually very sweet, she smells it and it’s like she knows the day has started. Ripley
wtf lol. i have a few cats and none of them ever have any interest in my cigarettes. cats are weird.
Your cat got hooked
Says satisfaction guaranteed, have you asked the raccoons their opinion?
They were incredibly satisfied.
They were incredibly satisfied that they went for a long nice nap!
It's repellant, not poison. I've used this kind, it's basically black pepper mixed with chili pepper powder. It's supposed to be really spicy and unpleasant for sensitive noses to be snuffling around in.
Bad luck to get raccoons that happen to be hot sauce enthusiasts.
On the next Hot Ones: hot sauce enthusiast raccoons.
Ingredients in the picture say putrescent egg solids, garlic and cloves. Must have been French raccoons.
"hey george, get over here! they got rotten eggs bits, seasoned just the way you like!"
when I was homeless, I came back to my tent to find racoons had ripped a hole in the side of it to get at some packets of hot sauce and BBQ sauce I had.
they left the nearly clean ripped open packets right next to the tent.
Label looks old and faded. I’ll bet it’s lost a lot of potency. Just became a mildly spicy dinner for the raccoons.
Unless you have chinese raccoons, they eat all kinds of weird spicy stinky stuff...
Once one of my neighbors had laid out ghost peppers on his porch and forgot to bring them in. He awoke to sounds outside and knew there was a black bear. Well he went back out in the morning (because fuck getting between a bear and food) and there was a steaming pile of shit and claw marks on the posts. The bear never did come back though.
Oh man, that bear was clinging on for dear life as the lava flowed.
The shit is made of lava
I love everything about this story
i laughed too hard at this
It's impressive that a story this short could make me laugh this hard
it’s called seasoning
DuoLaJiao or ChouDouFu?
Pandas. Chinese raccoons are called pandas.
You can read the ingredients in the photo:
* putrescent whole egg solids
* garlic oil
On the farm! How relaxing
Did they come back or did they leave a 1 star yelp review?
10/10 trash pandas would approve
They broke in to eat your repellant... might be time to switch brands lol
I am not satisfied!
Who says they ate it? They chewed into the container and then hauled it away so you can’t use it on them again. Crafty little buggers.
They're spreading it around their den or whatever to keep other raccoons out
Gotta keep those damn illegals out somehow.
Nature is so cruel.
If I robbed your house, I wouldn’t eat the bullets I found, I’d take ‘em and use them against you.
Watch your sandwiches and popcorn, OP.
Also not necessarily raccoons either. A good size rat could do that or a team of mice. Maybe even a squirrel.
A few years back, when I lived in a shittier place, rats would routinely eat my plastic ant traps so I had to switch to metal ones.
Seems like ants may not have been what you needed to set traps for /s
There were rat traps as well but the snakes ate those before they could do anything.
Circle of life will get you every time
Bait the rat traps with ant traps.
that’s not sarcasm my dude, that’s a straight up fact
they use it to mark out their territory keep the competition away.
“100% Money back guarantee”
The raccoons are though. So it's kind of true
Maybe they opened it backwards so it became anti repellant?
I think the word you were looking for is "attractant"
This stuff is pretty well-known to be a giant scam to begin with. It's simply not effective, and in some cases, perhaps yours qualifies, it can actually attract wild animals.
Best way to get people to buy raccoon repellent is to make sure raccoons hang around
feeding one territorial raccoon is the best repellant there is, plus you live a food waste free life!
Till he’s so fat he can’t fight.
You mean hanging the raccoons in front of the house as a warning for the others
According to the label, the "active" ingredients are putrescent whole egg solids, cloves, and garlic oil. Because apparently raccoons hate Cincinnati chili?
It's literally garbage haha
I've had Skyline chili. I'll stick with the putrescent egg solids.
Coyote urine ftw. Unless you're trying to repel coyotes.
Well, solved my raccoon problem….but now…..
Bring in the lions
I don't know why she swallowed a fly.
But did they leave after eating an the repellent?
They are waiting he to refill it
My thoughts exactly. Raccoons left after eating, therefore the product team will mark this “working as intended.”
The active ingredients are the same as a day old omelet so I'm not surprised.
Putrescent whole eggs, garlic and cloves and a bunch of old nasty fish and other things? Yum for the trash panda diet
Are you putting cloves in your omelet? If so, is it yummy?
That sounds awful
I can confirm you are not a racoon
Many years ago we had mice in our apartment. The rental company gave zero shits and told us "they just came in to get warm and will leave in the spring." That did not please me. We were warned not to use any traps or poisons etc. BUT mice arent cute - they are VERY destructive (lamp cords chewed through, holes in quilts and sweaters, anything paper or cardboard chewed, groceries eaten, etc). So off I went and got baits anyway. I got home late and left the plastic bag of baits on the kitchen counter and went to bed. The next morning it looked like a mouse battlefield with about a dozen dead mousies. They had chewed through the bag and eaten ALL of the baits. And died shortly after where they fell. Rest in peace you little bastards.
Mouse poop can be extremely dangerous. Dried out mouse feces can get into the air and infect you with a Hantavirus. I believe the mortality rate is over 30%
im just going to add that to the list of vaccines to get
The HANTA-19 vaccine
After seeing this shit on forensic files I always wear a mask when sweeping up or being near mouse feces
Fuck that rental company. If they had any brains they'd realize a mouse problem left unchecked would cost a hell of a lot more than calling an exterminator or buying bait.
The last stand of Mousestantinople!
Remember the Alamouse
A dozen? Holy shit!
If the exterminator commercials are to be believed, for every one you see there are 10 more you dont.
Not always. There was one that lived in my house. We had cameras set up to catch his activities. He was smart as fuck but he ended up losing the battle in the end. Left the cameras on the in crawl space for months with no alerts. I'm sure if he made friends with a female mouse it would've been different though.
What is the name of the product u used so I can buy it in case I have mouse problems again.
TomKat - just the baits. Dont bother with the traps.
My gf saw a rat. So I put out t Rex traps.
I caught a rat.
Next night I set them back out just to be safe.
I had snapped traps but didn't see anything.
I had 5 half mice. Something ate the asses of the dead mice.
Kept putting up traps but never got anything else
That is big raccoon energy right there!
Where are they now? Gone?
What a power move
The Tractor Supply I went to in Maryland, adopted cats to control the mice from getting the dog kibble, bird seed etc.....short time later, the cats realized that high end kibble is easier to acquire than to catch the mice, and clawed at the bags of food!
Bought that stuff for a couple of Canadian Geese that would not stop crapping all over the place. They brought over their friends. Applied more! More friends!
What worked- sneaking up on them with a nerf gun and blasting them. Never came back!
In my experience, a dog is usually the best deterrent. We used to let our sheltie try and herd them, which was hilarious to watch, u Tim they flew away and she looked at me like “Hey… these sheep can fly. No fair.”
Buy a live trap. Put a can of tuna in the back and set it. Next couple of days you should have a trash panda in there.
Have you actually tried to trap the elusive trash panda? I have only ended up with an empty trap and no tuna. Crafty they are.
Tweak the trap so it gets set off easier.
instructions unclear. I am now trapped and all i have is tuna to eat. Please send help.
You will either be relocated or shot. Let this be a lesson to not eat trap tuna.
I can't help what kind of music my tuna listens to.
God, it's just a plain re-direction of force.
You have been subscribed to our tuna delivery service. Thank you for your business.
The ones in my area just ignore the traps, or knock them over any try to spill the food.
I trapped dozens of them with a cage trap and sardines. I even caught 2 sibling in the same trap once. They are pretty dumb.
Then you are stuck with a trash panda you have to find a way to relocate far away or kill...
I was dealing with a raccoon problem and was looking into traps, but it's illegal to relocate trapped wild animals in my city, AND it's illegal to discharge a firearm in the city. So I was going to have to drown it or beat it to death and neither seemed like great options.
First rule of raccoon fight club...
Just relocate them OUT of your city.
My dad used to trap pesky annoying squirrels and hedgehogs. Squirrels would makes holes in the garbage cans and wreak havoc in the garage. Hedgehogs would tunnel in our garden and back yard.
He’d trap them in a “have a heart” trap, and once in there he’d put it in a plastic bag, and put the end of that bag around the tailpipe of his Jeep. I’m not sure on the spectrum of ways to put down animals how humane it was, but they did seem to just fall asleep quickly, like forever
Thats probably a more humane way to go, I believe carbon monoxide poisoning is supposed to be pretty painless.
Black powder guns aren't consider firearms. Buy two (revolvers) and duel it out with said trapped raccoon. Winner gets to stay.
Snap its neck with your bare hands. Hang the dead raccoon out on a tree as a message to other raccoons
Racoon spirits will haunt your house if you do this
Get a big plastic bin and put it in your trunk. Put the animal and the trap in the bin, and lightly cover. Drive 5 to 10 mi outside the city, drop it off at the side of the road somewhere near the forest and maybe a lake or a river, let him go.
Either way it's probably not coming back to bother you.
That's one badass racoon
Well, at least now you know not to waste your money on more.
Aliens: "Honey, the humans have eaten all the human repellant chili peppers."
Humans: " ¿Cómo Estás? "
But the deer were not there so....
Reminds me of the time we were going through spring cleaning in the shed and found all kinds of dead mice everywhere. Kinda strange, given that we normally have to take everything out and destroy the nests and shoo/kill the live ones. Get to the back of the shed where we found the mice had broken into a closed container that held mouse poison - we buy that brand every year now.
Cloves, garlic, and rotten eggs sounds like a gourmet meal to raccoons.
Alpha mode engaged!!!
Showing dominance alright.
Are you sure it's not rats
[It's supposed to work on them too lol](https://images.thdstatic.com/productImages/09ed6402-344f-46f4-a391-8b0cbd54d63a/svn/bonide-animal-repellents-2361-64_1000.jpg)
To be fair, they left after eating the repellant
They were sending a message. Just give them the garage.
Are there raccoons in your garage now? If there are no raccoons, then you can’t say for sure that the repellent doesn’t work, and therefore you must rate your experience as ‘extremely satisfying’. Maybe ‘very satisfying’, since the packaging doesn’t include that the repellent is consumed by use and thus requires periodic replacement.
I mean... People enjoy hot peppers, when capsaicin was evolved specifically as "mammal repellant"...
If the product actually works, they wouldn't sell more.