Machine of death
By - oooooooooooooommmfff
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!She dies from “old age”!<
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
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I fully expected her to get run over but the old dude was a bonus I didn't expect
How did you figured the old age part fit in?
I thought it subverts expectations by just killing her and not in the way you make a pun
thats not a pun its just ironic
She died of old age, cause old man can't drive. Its a pun
Puns are mostly about pronunciation and sounds of words. From the dictionary:
> a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings.
Less so about how an entire sentence/idea can have a different meaning.
So it's just a joke then?
It's dramatic irony
Dramatic irony is the type of tension in story when the audience has relavent information about the situation which some characters do not, often leading to foolish or tragic actions.
The video is using another type of irony, I believe it is called literary irony, where the meaning in the "text" is different than the audience or character's expectation. This is the type of irony most often referenced in school. A great example of this is the Futurama episode The Devil's hands are idol playthings (s4, ep18).
And now I'll take Leela's hand... *In marriage* (audience gasps)
Probably butchered the quote but that's roughly it.
Was thinking of that episode and benders sing talking the definition of irony as I read your comment. Love it.
That's one of my favorite eps.
It's breakfast in Tiffany's
Sir, this is a Wendy's
And as I recall I think we both kind of liked it
It’s just wordplay.
All puns are wordplay but not all wordplays are puns. Common mistake nowadays.
I guess! There might be a subcategory, but I'm not an expert on joke taxonomy.
Me neither! I laughed i guess that was the point and it worked.
Also could be a play on words?
it is more a *double entendre* than a pun
It might be the illusive single entendre.
Kind of sounds exactly like a play on words. Funny due to the juxtaposition of two different meanings of the same words
old age road rage
The plot coagulates... I didn't actually pick up on that. Thank you. It reminds me of the monkey's paw. Anyone remember that old twilight episode?
[Turkeys a little dry.](https://youtu.be/jx8FXZI1bVY)
I wouldn't blame the old man. She ran out into the street without looking either way. Faults on her.
Not a pun
who the hell upvotes this? all of you are stupid morons that don't know what a pun is
It's a palindrome
The palindrome of "Bolton" would be "Notlob"! It don't work!!
The use of words for other than their literal intention... Now that is irony. -Bender
Thats not a pun...
It would be a pun if there were different words used, not the same words. You make a pun by using a similar sounding word in a completely wrong meaning for comic effect. Here you have just "old age" - the same words. It's not even different meaning. Old age is old age. The CONTEXT is wrong here. So it's a joke. All puns are jokes, but not all jokes are puns.
Old man ..turned 98
Saw a jogger
A little too late.
Holy shit, this is actually perfect. I need to say this. Okay, so the actual meaning of irony isn't the classic "swim instructor drowned" style that everyone thinks. In actuality, it's closer in meaning to foreshadowing. Something that the audience can clearly see coming but the characters have no idea. Now, in this situation, the actual meaning of irony would apply to the clear fact that she's going to be hit by that car. The modern version of irony as it is now understood, would be in the old person being the driver of the car. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Dramatic irony--which is what you described--is one kind of irony. Another kind is situational irony, which I believe is seen displayed here in a couple ways.
1) The "Death Machine" appears to be the source of her peril initially. Upon reading the card, however, we find that she has gotten through unscathed. Then, she jogs of, too elated by her avoidance of death to pay attention, she is presumably killed by the car, subverting hers and possibly the audience's expectations.
2) She reads the card that says she is dying of old age. She believes herself to be safe, but this is subverted, as the full context of the card was unclear until she was struck down.
That's not irony Alanis Morisette
Actually it is ironic. Don’t be a dick just because you don’t understand the meaning of irony.
Nah you're right, the sketch itself was ironic. I misunderstood the comment thread.
Now that’s ironic
Don't you think?
I think, ironically, that song is the single most ironic thing ever created by a human being. It is God tier irony, but not for any of the reasons Alanis thought.
It's a little too ironic.
Like rain on your wedding day
Oh no, have puns become so common now that people are starting to thing anything is a pun?
This short is actually sharing a universe with a series of short stories, most of which are really fun because they're mostly about similar twists. There's one story about a guy who gets a card saying something like "mauled by lions", and he brags and hypes up the idea that he is gonna get some badass ending and that it makes him a badass dude too, but he's also careful to avoid zoos and is scared to shit about it. Really funny black humor stories.
Well I guess when you die you’re the oldest age you’ll ever be.
I didn’t even get there…I was expecting someone to suck her finger on the other side…I, would have died.
That means the machines working
Glory hole suck for 25 cents?
I’m in, in more ways than one 😏.
You’re admitting you could fit your penis in a hole the size of your index finger?
Getting my dick sucked, don't care.
Yeah but I have a 25 cent glory hole so I think I’m the real winner here
Fuuuucckkk I remember this. Thanks for that replay gag reflex lol. Thanks…no thanks.
It was an old man. The whole idea of machine of death is that it gives vague and ironic answers. For example, “joy” would result in you getting run over by a woman named joy, “natural causes” would be conked on the head by a falling koala, and “old age” could be being shot in the head by a bed ridden old man in a botched home invasion.(these all happen in the book btw.)
Wait what book??
It’s a bundle of short stories called machine of death. There’s two of them, and they’re pretty good.
Fuck yeah. I'll check them out. Thanks!
[This is the book](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_of_Death)
I believe there were subsequent anthologies but I haven't checked them out. This one has some awesome stories though. Each story's title is the Machine of Death prediction delivered to the story's protagonist. Spoiler: >!Perhaps my favorite entry is titled, "HIV Infection From Machine of Death Needle"!<
Edit: I have discovered a [freely-accessible audiobook option](http://machineofdeath.net/about/podcast) by following a link in the wiki sources, so now the link is closer to you.
book? Book!? BOOK!?!
See my response to top reply.
should i still read it or not even though i know the twists now
There’s like twenty of them. And a fair few don’t even have twists. Joy was a minor part of one story, and the other two where in the introductory comic. So no, you’ve hardly been spoiled.
You can certainly still read it. He didn't spoil it, he only listed a couple examples out of the many things that happen.
Thanks for answering
You're fine to read them. The concept of the "twists" were not a surprise (and even if they were, you'd figure that out by the third short story out of the 20 or whatever in the book). A bigger draw to the book is the brief character and world building in each story. The existence of a "machine of death" is the only constant, and every author had a different vision for what the world would be like with such a machine. If I remember correctly (it's been over 10 years), at least one of the stories is even about a character that refuses to use a machine of death despite the societal expectation to do so, so the stories are all sorts of takes on the concept!
I expected the machine to be wrong and the girl just died from the car.
I had a similar thought as the person you replied to. When I saw "old age" and that it was posted in this sub, I figured she'd get hit by a car, and then be permanently in a coma.
Then it'd fast forward 50 years or something, and she'd die "of old age" even if the years in between couldn't really be called 'living.'
I thought it would be a truck that delivers „Old Age“ whisky.
I guess cause the driver was an old man.
Hit by a car and spending the next 80 years in a coma and dying of old age then would have been funny too
That's what I expected. The old man caught me off guard.
Nope Hep-C from that needle.
Why did she change from down the sidewalk to across the street lol
She was going home after her run but once she thought she was going to live to be old she decided to say fuck it and grab a burger and milk shake.
Not really, they asked for the specifics
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or does it?
It does now, r/birthofasub
Because otherwise the video would have been more difficult to make
Old people drive over other people in sidewalks all the time. Would've still made sense if it happened that way.
You're missing the point. She's suddenly fine crossing the street without looking because she's assuming she's invincible, as she can only die of old age now. The only way they show this without words is to show her taking a risk she wasn't willing to take before.
Yes, it still would make sense, but it makes the story much less interesting and much less of a cautionary tale. The current version is a story about thinking things through and the girl dies die to her own mistaken hubris for not thinking or being careful. What are you supposed to learn from your version? That old people suck?
It was unexpected of her to change her path perpendicularly into the street
im wondering why she had quarters on her while jogging
Not to long ago it was a good idea of you needed a pay phone.
Probably specifically for vending machines. If she grabs a sports drink from a machine during her jog, she needs money the machine will take for that.
i mean, if your stupid enough to put your finger in a weird contraption called the "matchine of death" chances are your not living for much longer
Machine of death: Reddit army will kill you for correcting they'ire grammar
Cheeky bastard ya.
*i mean, if your stupid enough to put you're finger in a weird contraption called the "matchine of death" chances are your not living for much longer*
Yeah I didn’t realize the machine was supposed to tell you *how* you died, I thought it just killed you so when she stuck her finger in I just thought “wtf is wrong with her”
The call of the void.
oh how it beckons
I mean, technically it did cause her death, in a roundabout way
No roundabout involved.
I ain't using my finger.
Oh great...another sub I’m now needing r/eyebleach after...
Do not speak ill of the Gom Jabbar
Thank the maker someone else thought of the sisterhood.
That's more of a Machine of Unspeakable Agony than Death, though.
This is based on an idea that spawned a bunch of short stories, and some stories talk about the social aspect of using the machine. Like how kids in high school value cool deaths, like airplane crash, over boring ones like old age.
It makes far more sense in context, this ties into a book series about these machines being common. In a lot of stories they're treated like air conditioning when it was new, a venue rents a machine and suddenly that's the cool place to go to because you can stay cool/try out that new machine while you're there. If this was a written story you'd hear her thinking about how she didn't realize one of these machines finally made it to her neighborhood, or have her finally give in to trying it so she knows working out is worth it as she won't die because of it, something like that.
I think in this setting she was anxious about what the machine would say, not what it was going to do
Could just say AIDS
I believe this is based on a book about a machine that does just this and each chapter is a separate story of how the person dies.
One chapter is literally just the card saying “HIV from the Machine of Death.”
I really liked that book.
What was its name?
THANK YOU !! :) [I tried looking and found the whole video](https://youtu.be/HhVUCJfmRC8)
I gotta find out what the fuck is up with the whole "sunscreen on your nose" trope.
It's not a trope. It's also not sunscreen lol. It's zinc oxide. It doesn't rub in like sunscreen or lotion. The zinc oxide is better for protecting sensitive parts of the body that are more vulnerable to sunburn. Since the nose protrudes from the face, it usually get more sunlight than other areas. The zinc oxide creates an opaque barrier from the sun and guarantees that area will not burn.
Whats the book? Is it just machine of death?
Machine of Death
by Matthew Bennardo and Ryan North
On a personal note…Ryan North’s Dinosaur Comics make me laugh
Don't forget the sequel This Is How You Die and that you can download the e-book of Machine of Death for free here: [http://machineofdeath.net/ebook](http://machineofdeath.net/ebook)
Edit: There is also a podcast of the first book if you rather listen! Just search for Machine of Death in your favorite podcast app.
Hey don’t forget David Malki !, I believe he even produced this video
"Well, he thought... That sucks." Is literally the only sentence in that chapter
too late, when you are getting that card you got needled for blood
if the machine wants to give you HIV, that will be the perfect time to do it
Honestly surprised the Machine of Death doesn’t have to live up to FDA standards
what.... but then they would get treatment and not get hiv.... makes no sense
> One chapter is literally the card saying “HIV from the Machine of Death.”
Oh that’s fucked.
I thought there was gonna be a hamster in there
Driving the car?
You know what? Why not.
Well their legs are too short for a start
Not if you build them a contraption
Explain [this](https://youtu.be/bxcX-aJG-4k) then Mr. Science guy
The [driver. ](https://i.imgur.com/YwrfMuE.jpg)
Fuck I'm so stupid. Never thought about giant hamsters.
Seriously wtf is wrong with you, you don't have that kia commercial on repeat in your head?
Cause of death?
Machine: Old Age;
Reality: Didn’t look before crossing the street
Reality: ran over by a man of old age
Old age? He was just 82 years YOUNG
The book had a few like this, but it mostly focused on the societal effects of everyone knowing how they would die. For example presidential candidates needing to disclose how they'll die and top schools turning away people with violent deaths.
Others focus on the psychological. Someone who beat cancer being told they'll die of cancer, or a new father being told his daughter will die of poison (maybe in 50 years, maybe tomorrow).
It's a cool book.
Wait what is this book? I feel like I wanna read this now
Edit: if it's called the machine of death I'm gonna feel dumb
[Apparently it is a book](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_of_Death)
I enjoyed it. Decent collection on a neat premise. The shortest story in it was my favorite.
Imagine getting told you’ll die of suicide and everyone knows that’d be so embarrassing ;-;
This short is based on a board game in which its players take on the role of assassins in a world where everyone knows how they’re going to die - forcing them to come up with creative ways to fulfill the machine’s prophecy.
The game is okay.
Looks like the game was based off the book? I’m almost certain this short was made in conjunction with the Kickstarter, though.
Yeah. It was combined with the Kickstarter to help promote the game.
Crime doesn’t pay! Jay-walking is both dangerous and *illegal!*
As soon as she smiled and went back to jogging, I knew how this would end.
Also, technically she died from blunt force trauma and not old age. I’m fun at parties, I swear.
Blunt force trauma... caused by old age. Machine never claimed it was giving the direct cause.
It's a bit arbitrary isn't it? The machine could also have said inattention, lax license renewal laws, the creation of the universe....
The machine of death is just being a dick!
Boooo machine of death!
It's basically the type of interpretation you'd have with the monkey's paw. It twists it into something not good that is not the most intuitive or positive way to understand it.
Blunt force trauma caused by a person of old age...
Lol. Yall, I got the joke. I’m just nitpicking. :P
Put your p in it
I was wondering what if you did that and then saw the needle and was like nah
This could be perfectly an SCP
There are two books out from this anthology!
[Machine of Death (Book 1)](https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/960462cc-70ba-480d-8898-86e11d9a6bd7)
[This Is How You Die (Book 2)](https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/1bc4bee4-0a7e-4a27-a099-412f5e0a0c48)
There was a campaign behind the book to have everyone buy it on the same day so it would hit a bunch of top sales lists for that particular day.
By coincidence Bill Oriley put his book out on the same day and got all pissy about coming in second.
I think it was Glenn Beck not Bill Oriley. Still funny though
I really enjoyed both of them.
Oh, there's a second book! Nice.
>It's a promotional series on YouTube for an anthology book called "Machine of Death" or "This is how you die." (One of those, I can’t recall for sure)
This was one of the comments on the post where i originally saw this video, hope it helps!
Saw here getting hit by a vehicle, but did not expect the Oracle to be true to its word.
Oooh, nice glory hole
Who runs with a quarter in their pocket?
The most unexpected part of this entire video!
Who goes running with change in their pocket??
I thought it was going to be the video of the fat guy sucking on a finger from the Dorito Commercial.
Was pretty expected.
the needle has AIDS, if you save frome the car crash.
There's a full video to this called [This is how you die](https://youtu.be/HhVUCJfmRC8)
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Okay I’ve seen this before but and didn’t ask but now I will. 1.she was running down the sidewalk what made her want to cross the street? Where the hell was she going? 2. Who the fuck crosses the street without looking both ways? I do that shit even in the middle of nowhere by habit😂😂
Because she was just told she would die of old age, so she had some overconfidence about her safety.
Username checks out
I thought the machine gonna chop her finger at first, but at least she died
I thought the machine was just gonna kill her
I rather never know how I die.