T O P

Not buying it

Not buying it

joeybagofdonuts80

Noooo, not THOSE verses. Only the looooove verses/s


amalgaman

Not even the love verses. Take a snippet of Leviticus, add a misunderstanding of multiple commandments, sprinkle in some Jesus quotes without context, and really push Revelations.


fodderforpicard

Honestly so true. Oh and I think they love Paul more than Jesus. I was in a Bible study couple years back( thought I’d give christianity another go.) and that’s all we looked at. Paul, Paul, Paul.


berean17

Paul did write a good chunk of the New Testament tho. Your gonna experience that in any Bible study.


fodderforpicard

I know but thats my point, they don’t really focus o what Jesus said.The accounts of Matt, Mark, Luke, and John, are completely different and contradict each other, the whole New Testament is such a mess, that’s why I left again. Nothing added up and no one could answer , but with “ well you just have to have faith”.


April1987

“God works in mysterious ways”


A_Naany_Mousse

not OP but that's not really it. These lot focus almost exclusively on the epistles and all the weird, arcane passages while almost never ever talking about the gospels.


dennismfrancisart

The story of Saul becoming Paul after torturing and persecuting followers of Jesus for years is interesting. Imagine a modern equivalent. It is true that many Evangelicals and other Conservative Christians seem to gravitate to Paul more than Jesus.


hypatiaspasia

Honestly, I stopped being Christian when I was in college when I started to really study religion and realized that our entire religion was really based on some letters Paul wrote, rather than the words of Jesus himself. I was like who the FUCK is Paul?


MonsterRider80

Christianity is literally Jesus’s teachings as viewed through Paul’s interpretation. He is the key to Christianity.


dennismfrancisart

If you separate Christianity from Jesus, you are correct.


A_Naany_Mousse

is it?


A_Naany_Mousse

Yep. They're Paul obsessed. The Gospels? Meh.


littleraccon

They like Paul so much because he's easy to use to judge others with


dennismfrancisart

Consider that Paul was the showrunner for this series and without him the show would have been canceled a long time ago. Jesus' words were too easy to read but hard to follow.


Soreal45

Don’t forgot to throw in some Psalms. They love poetry.


bangitybangbabang

>a misunderstanding of multiple commandments, sprinkle in some Jesus quotes without context, When I was 17 I read the bible cover to cover, as soon as I *understood* the text, that was the beginning of the end. There was no point calling myself a Christian, the religion my parents taught me was nice & everything but it had fuck all to do with this book.


A_Naany_Mousse

Don't forget to throw in lots of Apostle Paul, while almost completely ignoring the gospels, especially the Sermon on the Mount or most of what Jesus taught


EyeH8uxinfiniteplus1

And *really* hammer on that fire and brimstone thing


Tenebrousgent

Out of historical context. Sorry. Don't mean to be pedantic. I just see sooo many Rapturians ignore everything about revelations that give it any meaning.


Nero1988420

They cherry pick and chill.


HairyHorseKnuckles

Except when talking about brown or LBGTQ people


arcdog3434

Jesus never shut up about hating gays - its all he talked about


bahamapapa817

They want you to love kids when they need money for schools even though a state like Alabama will condemn abortion but be 50th in education. They want the kids alive but dumb af


littleraccon

Perfect for drafting into the military


brianthomasarghhh

"There are many ways to interpret the scripture."


JailCrookedTrump

People get it all wrong. Abortion should be post birth according to the Holy Gospel. Don't be a pussy, look the son of a bitch right in the eyes as you stab him as he takes his first breath. That's how real Christians abort! s/


pinniped1

Jesus condemns abortion. It's in the same chapter where he condemns gay marriage and commands that all True Patriots own an AR-15. Don't you people even read the Bible?? Heathens.


unresolved-madness

"Let he who hath not an ar15, take his $600 stimulus and buyeth one. If he receives $1200, take the other portion and buyeth ammunition. -Preparations 20:21


JewtinoMedic

I feel like JC would be more of an AK guy.


The_Karaethon_Cycle

He definitely would be. Jesus would have a galil chambered in the lord’s caliber - 7.62x39.


Taeyx

nah jesus was a true white american patriot and would want us to buy american-made firearms /s


joeybagofdonuts80

This made me snort...I live in the midwest among the True Patriots. At least they bought the bumper sticker that says they are.


PanchoPanoch

Considering some of the apostles carried and used swords on more than one occasion, I’m not sure he’d be necessarily opposed to them carrying an AR.


MrFlynnister

Well he didn't exactly say, "good job Peter" when an ear got lopped off, so maybe Jesus was not cool with weapons as you think


PanchoPanoch

He also just told Peter to put it in its place, not get rid of it.


Tenebrousgent

Didn't he beat a banker in a church?


cheekynative

Whooped a bunch of merchants/money lenders asses with a braided cord he made out of rope. One of my favourite anecdotes about the homie.


Trismesjistus

When someone says "What would Jesus do," remember that "grab a bullwhip and beat the shit out of some bankers" is an option


greytgreyatx

Except it wasn't bankers. It was the religious leaders. And they were basically forcing poor people to pay money for sacrifices, or risk angering god. So, yeah, they were lending money... but it wasn't to buy property or anything like that. They were lending money so the poor folks could buy a few doves or a goat or whatever to sacrifice. It was religious extortion. Also, this is the one story in hundreds of pages of stories about Jesus where he gets pissed enough to act like this, so I think it would be an option that is saved for when the powerful are oppressing the needy. It was his father's home, and it's supposed to be a safe place, but they made it something sinister and threatening. That's the story.


Mercpool87

Not even grab, but make your own bullwhip to use. If you read the passage again, Jesus observes what's going on and then takes the time to make his own whip.


Wolv90

He was quoted as being very anti-divorce! Matthew 19:8


greytgreyatx

But also, it helps to consider context. In the time Jesus lived, if a man divorced his wife, she would have no property, no money, and would be unable to return to her father's home because she wasn't a prized virgin anymore. His stance on divorce had more to do with protecting a woman's being abandoned when a husband tired of her than of the morality of separation. He never, and no one else in the Bible ever, talks negatively about having more than one wife.


DevilfishShoehorn

Damn, the Christian God is quite the murderous bastard huh?


throwaway59664

The story of Noah's ark hits differently when you understand what genocide is


_DarthDarthBinks_

The verse that always got me was Exodus 7:3 when God hardened Pharaoh's heart, which caused him to deny Moses when he asked him to let the Hebrews free. Then subsequently punished Pharaoh and all the Egyptians (including killing all the firstborns) because of Pharaoh's refusal. So, presumably, Pharaoh would have let them free after the first time Moses asked. But God intervened. Why would he do that? Anyone I asked couldn't make sense of it. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I grew up Christian. The more I read the Bible, the further I got from identifying with it. I've attended many churches (moved a lot). They really do just cover very few specific verses that are nice and easy to explain. This one never was mentioned.


MajesticMtChocula

Had to make an example that would remembered through the ages ig. Probably said the quiet part out loud by mentioning "hardening the Pharaoh's heart" though.


Silly-Ole-Pooh-Bear

I'm too lazy to Google, but I think he did it to show off his badass powers.


Luffytarokun

Sounds kinda vain


gh0st_

He lets you know he is a jealous God.


Taeyx

yea i think this was one of the questions i had as i started shifting away from christianity..the more i started asking questions and probing, the less sense things started to make..and they’re favorite saying is “well god is not a god of confusion”, but there are thousands of different sects all reading the same text and coming to different conclusions..if that’s not confusion, idk what is


cheekynative

Yeah I've never had that one explained to my satisfaction either. The way he interfered with Saul during that succession was also highly problematic for me.


greytgreyatx

I've heard it "explained" a lot, and it's all garbage. "God already knew Pharaoh's heart, and he didn't really harden it as much as let him keep going down the road he was going to go, anyway..." I bought into some Calvinistic crap like that for a while, until my 11-year-old kid looked at me with tears in their eyes and said, "But he was GOD. He could have picked any other way to free the people. He didn't have to kill a bunch of kids." That started my deconstruction right up. Oh, another explanation I heard was that "firstborn" didn't necessarily mean "kids," as lots of firstborns were likely over 21. Okay, well, then that makes murder much easier to stomach, thanks.


Nerdican

Source: I was raised by an evangelical pastor, so I can answer the question based on evangelical theology. Caveat: I don't believe any of it, so be aware of that bias. The idea was that Egypt had to be punished for how they had treated the Israelites for 400 years AND YHWH had to prove that he was more powerful than all the Egyptian gods. If Pharaoh let the Israelites go, then Egypt wouldn't get the full retribution, so God kept his heart hard to make sure Egypt would be thoroughly punished and their gods embarrassed.


greytgreyatx

Which... gross.


igivelurks

Why couldn't god, I don't know, free the Israelites himself.


Wendypants7

For an omnipotent and omniscient being, it sure does rely on the 'mysterious ways' a lot....


Alwayzblessed

The word in the original Hebrew is to make hardER something that was already hard. It wasn't to imply that Pharoah had a pliable and compassionate heart, then Mean Ole Heavenly Father comes along and makes him hate Israel. No, it was a giving over to his own evilness, as in God didn't stop Pharaoh from doing the things he did; but also didn't change Pharaoh's mind. He didn't stop Pharaoh and allowed him to dig his heels in deeper at every turn precisely to show Israel that He is far greater than the Pharaoh of their torment and He could deliver and save them. Give it another shot, this time with an open mind and unhardened heart (see what I did there).


Nero1988420

Imagine the scale of death and destruction that flood caused...makes the word genocide seem tame.


Azair_Blaidd

Omnicide


JeromosaurusRex

That would make a great name for a band or rap group..


AegisEpoch

That would then be boycotted by "concerned mothers" and religious groups, disturbed by the decay of society's value and lack of christ in the classroom.


Iamdanno

Which would in turn make them super popular


VitaminZebra

Oh the irony. lol


Azair_Blaidd

Apparently there has actually been two death metal bands by the name, one Australian and one Swiss, but unfortunately both very small time and now defunct.


Nero1988420

That's it right there


greytgreyatx

Also, it makes for yet another generation of a bunch of inbred people. If you take it literally and also believe Adam and Eve are the parents of everyone.


DevilfishShoehorn

Had to clear out all those pesky nephilim somehow.


Technical_Acadia_218

Whole Lotta kids killed in that flood. I have to assume a few pregnant women went as well. So much for the sanctity of the unborn child.


greytgreyatx

Also, something like 1 in 3 of us has experienced miscarriages, AKA "spontaneous abortions." Why is no one protecting those unborn children??


mikeoxeshort

Lmao fr. The way it’s taught to be all happy and jolly while it’s a full on genocide. And the worst part is that’s not even the only genocide in the book


Soreal45

Sounds like late term abortion to me.


Niccy26

😂😂😂


joeybagofdonuts80

The great flood is God's "Oops, do over!" move.


mstrss9

I had an illustrated Bible stories and saw the women in the water holding babies and children and from back then, I was like hmmm this don’t make sense!


Iamdanno

Old Testament God is bloodthirsty & vengeful. New Testament God is sunshine & rainbows.


Wolv90

Unless you wanna get divorced, then Jesus said Moses was too soft to even allow it!


Nero1988420

God orders Saul to fucking annihilate every fucking thing in Amalek "Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and ***women, children and infants***, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.’” 1 Samuel 15:3


SonOfAhuraMazda

I see where Ghenghis Khan got it from


PhobetorWorse

Also, isn't the only mention of abortion in the bible detailing how to do it "properly"?


somejadedvibes

There's a verse talking about a "ritual" a husband can do if he suspects his pregnant wife of adultery. He's instructed to give her a potion thing and if she miscarries she has cheated, if her pregnancy goes well she has not cheated. Numbers 5:11-31 I think


Leading_Entry_8776

It's about if he suspected her of adultery. The husband is to take her to the priest and the priest gives her the drink. If she committed adultery her womb would shrivel up and her abdomen would swell and she would become infertile. If she didn't commit adultery, nothing would happen


Heritage_Cherry

Lmao shit like this should leave absolutely no one surprised that the puritans burned women for being witches.


Leading_Entry_8776

Some biblical scholars think the mixture that the woman drank was actually harmless and there response to it was psychological.


Heritage_Cherry

For the sake of the women, I would hope so. But that also feels like wishful thinking.


Leading_Entry_8776

It was holy water and dust from the tabernacle floor. Then the priest would write a curse on piece of leather, then wash the leather in the water. Then the woman would drink it. (I just used a lot then statements)


bangitybangbabang

Do you have a source for this?


mstrss9

Oh is this where they got rape vs rape rape


Technical_Acadia_218

Wait, wait... my recovering catholic ass has got it: the unborn is without Original Sin. Once the cord is cut, they're as guilty as the rest of us, and can all fuck right off until they accept Christ as their personal Savior.


VitaminZebra

Can't talk yet but expected to speak in tongues. :P


PeggySueIloveU

God, please, don't send me to hell for laughing at this...


mstrss9

So aren’t we doing them a favor when we don’t allow the umbilical cord to be cut???


Leading_Entry_8776

I think the person (in this case a baby) would need the mental capacity to understand sin in order to confess Christ as a savior. Therefore, I think that die before they have that capacity go to heaven


Vanden_Boss

That depends pretty heavily on religious traditions. Baptists argue that a baptism is needed (but not the mental capacity to agree) hence why babies are baptized.


RandomRageNet

Evangelical Baptists don't do infant baptism, as the baptism doesn't hold any special power, it's just a symbol of your conscious choice. Most evangelicals believe in a nebulous "age of accountability" because the idea of sending kids to hell for something they don't understand is kind of horrible, and Protestants generally don't believe in Purgatory or Original Sin.


KzooGooner89

Love these comments. Nothing like Reddit and unbridled atheism.


PeggySueIloveU

I'm not even an atheist and I'm having a good laugh.


Ticonderoga2HB

Deadass


LionSageDan

Frfr


jakethedog92

Uhh, how is god supposed to kill newborns if the mother's do it first?? Ever thought of that? Didn't think so


Fuk-mah-life

Only I can commit mass genocide and be praised thousands of years later - God, probably


Dr_Snugglemuffin

The Eurocentric version.


jelqKing

“Fuck dem kids” -God probably


ApexAquilas

"I declare that the new testament is a do over." Jesus, probably


[deleted]

[удалено]


strataview

“Castlevania mentions Vlad the Impaler” Castlevania is True?!?!?


PeggySueIloveU

Did you ask Alucard? I'm sure he's still around here. He probably ended up baptizing the Belmont child.


joeandandrea

Y’all this is a religion who’s OG badass was a guy that was going to murder his son, because a voice in his head told him to. Father Abraham had many sons and fucking Isaac almost wasn’t one of them.


therockethornet

This is incredibly sacrilegious but I don't care and imma say it. That nigga God didn't give a FUCK!😂😂😂😂


Technical_Acadia_218

Their argument apparently is something along the lines of "no no, He cares about the UNborn children. The rest are the parents problem. "


PeggySueIloveU

Something...something...manna from the sky and fish sandwiches for 5,000 people...or something like that.


Slaisa

>fish sandwiches Is there a vegan gluten free alternative?


derpferd

Dude told Abraham to kill his son and then, at the last moment, went "Sike"


ISuckAtFunny

HA GOT EEM


Ahsokaoki420

I think there saying it’s not your choice to kill the 1 unborn child, god will come and slaughter all the children to prove his point


Apprehensive-Wank

He literally drowned every puppy, kitten, infant and pregnant woman on earth once. God is evil, he just won the war and wrote the book


A_Naany_Mousse

My long held theory is that their true intent is that they're anti-sex. If they really cared about births, they'd offer real sex education and more access to contraceptives. These would reduce unwanted pregnancies a ton, thus, in theory, lowering abortion rates. But they don't do that. Their answers are "Abstinence only. If you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex". In their twisted minds, this would force more women into marriages. In reality, it would just create more devastation. They don't care about lives.


RichCorinthian

There was an early Christian sect called Marcionism that basically said the OT and NT gods were...two different gods. They burned those books really quick.


Dob_Tannochy

Those are all attributed to the Judahite God Yahweh. Some Gnostic sects, especially the Cathars a millennium or so after the first Gnostics, considered Yahweh the Demiurge, or Satan, or the Big Bad, vs Jesus disembodied as the Good Guy / divine antithesis.


soup2nuts

I just wanted to add that the Carthars were victims of the early crusades. The French village where they mostly resided was completely slaughtered and razed to the ground even though not every villager was a Cathar. The crusaders didn't know how to identify who were the Carthars and who were the Catholics which is where we get the phrase supposedly uttered by the commander of the crusade, "Kill them all, let God sort them out." Most people think of the crusades as Christians fighting Muslims and Jews in Palestine but the first crusades were against non-catholic Christians in Europe.


fnieblas23

This is assuming those evangelicals actually read the Bible


greytgreyatx

I grew up in an extremely conservative fundamentalist denomination that absolutely had read the whole Bible. We were encouraged (required) to memorize much of it. Answers to "alleged conflicts" were given to us because we needed to "study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman who needs not reproof." And "always be ready to give an answer" and all that jazz. Oh, we were very sure of just exactly what all of it meant, and how it made sense. I'm embarrassed that I ever felt like I truly believed it. EDITED TO ADD: I just remember my Dad pulling out the Bible and reading part of Ezekiel after we watched the movie ET, the Extra-Terrestrial. He showed how what Ezekiel saw (the wheel, way up in the middle of the air) might be aliens. So if there are lifeforms from other planets, it's already covered in the Bible! Wow.


Legbail

Remember that the bear ate them kids because they made fun of a bald guy.


McDunkins

The little bastards had it coming.


Paraxom

wait he sent fucking bears to murder kids?


BugsArePeopleToo

The kids had it coming. They made fun of a baldie for being bald.


Paraxom

lol its like me playing the Sims


crookdmouth

It is because the Christian/Hebrew God is particularly petty,evil and vile. Religion is a mental illness if you try to force it on others along with its archaic rules. If peoples morality comes from their religion then I think we can all agree that that is fucked up.


FatalTortoise

Look I could agree with you or I could pick one verse that has nothing to do with what I'm talking about and twist it's words to very loosely fit what I'm trying to say


Eastern-Dig-4555

No, he cares about the unborn. He doesn’t care once they’re born though. Lol


PeggySueIloveU

Because we're expected to wait on the next serving of fish sandwiches for everyone. I plan on eating mine with some of that manna.


Eastern-Dig-4555

I don’t understand the correlation to what I said. 🤷🏻


amdaly10

The bible says that abortions are allowed. There are instructions for a priest to perform one. Source: Numbers 5:11


bbildo

Any person who picks and chooses which verses of the bible to believe isn’t trying to teach the word of god; they are trying to be god. Name a greater sin.


Iamdanno

You have to pick & choose, because so much of it is contradictory.


bbildo

It’s even more contradictory if you look at some of the books that weren’t allowed in. (Decided by people)


HarnessMeDesignsOUB

Wellll, I mean.... if they aren't born he can't really kill them right? I think that's the real issue, he just wanna murder babies. The Psychopath.


forrestgumpy2

Look up “Bitter Water”. In fact, there is ABORTION in the BIBLE. Abortion was accepted in the Old Testament, not condemned, in certain types of circumstances.


Early_Escape1379

They are concerned with having fresh stock for the prisons


baguhansalupa

jesus also approves of assault rifles because he used them during his time


Jeff_himself

Of course he does.. if there’s only unborn babies, there’s no babies to kill.. no fun in that


Swelephant

Hold up, what’s that about bears?


cardboardtube_knight

The bears thing is probably about young men. Just saying. Also it’s metal as fuck.


mstrss9

We are all children in god’s eyes


EMIA09

He turned babies to dust in wombs


mstrss9

Don’t forget Herod killing all the male toddlers looking for Jesus


Madouc

To everyone who writes here that these parts of the Bible should not be taken seriously: If you only cherry pick the "good" parts of the Bible, then you don't need the Bible, a small piece of paper with the golden rule on it is sufficient.


Eman5805

How about the time a man who thought his wife was pregnant by another man was told to give a weird concoction intended to make her miscarry if the baby wasn’t his. As instructed by a holy man as instructed by the Lord. A literal abortion was warranted if the woman was unfaithful. Seems open and shut as God being pro-abortion to me. Also all the surely pregnant women who drowned when God flooded the world.


tomatosoupsatisfies

Christians use modern technology to see it before it’s born. It looks human...soo...human.


Lunarswine

The God of the Bible literally performs abortions for the Israelites in the book of Numbers.


Amazon-Prime-package

Numbers 5:11-31 describes how god performs abortions


Sleep-system

Seems like he wants them all for himself so I don't see what their problem is.


cheekynative

The Bible has never been anything more than a cudgel to these people, which, given the way it's been put together, makes a lot of sense. For years I struggled to reconcile the fire and brimstone og God who sent the flood with the Gospels. It wasn't until I studied up a little on how Zoroastrian thought bled into Judeo-Christian traditions during the Israelites captivity in Babylon that I realised they were just making shit up as they went along, with a narrative that suited whatever agenda was most pressing at the time. Peep the chronology. Named angels, the idea of the End of Times, the establishment of Kingdom of God at some future date, it all starts cropping up in the post-exhilic period. Jesus is such an anomaly though. Probably explains why you'll never hear your average Christian even quote him when they're trying to browbeat you into accepting whatever argument they're using on that particular day. I often wonder how many of them have actually read the entire Bible for themselves. My estimates aren't very high


Agent2Duck

Well of course the general christian cares about the unborn, they just mutilate baby boys.