What brings the worst out in people?
By - 666FuCkThEwOrLd666
Ah yes, the only day of the year you can see a Karen curb stomp a kid over a PS5
I spent ten years in retail; I absolutely refuse to step out my front door on Black Friday for anything short of a medical emergency. We have leftovers and running water, so we can survive 24 hours.
This is me, but just 5 years in retail. That stain on my soul isn’t ever coming out.
Travel. To know what a person is really like go travelling with them.
Traveling with people who don't want to take charge and make plans but also don't want any of the options you provide.
I lost one of my greatest friends of many years due to my birthday trip to Puerto Rico just the two of us. I don't know what it was that caused the shift, but I literally didn't recognize her after the trip. It was awful.
The worst part was I was her maid of honor in her wedding a month or so later. I tried to have a talk with her that maybe I should back out and we had what I thought was a great talk and apology. Found out she was only nice to me after the trip to make sure I didn't back out, barely acknowledged me day of, she "canceled" my speech and gave it to another bridesmaid, and we never spoke again after the wedding. Like, why would you want me in your wedding photos for the rest of your life?
Like... what happened that it went downhill that fast? How long had y’all been friends? Can’t imagine losing a lifelong friend over a disagreement between restaurants etc
I’ve had to travel for work a few times and once, I took a flight with a coworker I’d always thought of as fairly mild mannered, quiet, and laidback.
Prior to boarding, the flight attendants were asking if anyone was willing to check their carry-on, because there wasn’t going to be enough space in the overhead bins, and I made the *huge* mistake of offhandedly telling this coworker that I used to always check my carry-on when they asked, because it’s pretty convenient, until once, they lost my carry-on and it took like a week to get it back. Then I stopped doing it bc it wasn’t worth the risk.
Unfortunately, we were some of the last people to board, due to our boarding zone, and when we got on the plane, the flight attendant announced that we would *have* to check our bags because there just wasn’t room for them. I was like, oh well, c’est la vie.
Well, wouldn’t you know it, my “mild-mannered laidback” coworker threw the biggest fit. He was nasty and condescending and insisted that they *had* to put our bags in the overhead bins somehow. I tried to tell him that there was nothing we could do, but he was *fuming,* ranting about how ridiculous this was. I was dying of embarrassment. Eventually he gave in, mostly because there was nothing they could do, and I apologized to the flight attendant when his back was turned, saying “I’m so sorry. He’s not normally like this.” She just smiled at me wearily and said, “travel brings out the worst in people”
My business travel advice after co-worker lost all his checked luggage and on a different trip a co-worker lost carry-on luggage intended for an overhead bin:
Put the absolute minimum to complete your business task in an **under seat carry-on**.
Yup. Gave this advice to my oldest when he was getting serious with his college girlfriend. They went on a trip from NY to FL together for a week. Broke up a week after they got back.
Thinking they’re being cheated. It almost makes me want to stop doing games in class because if there’s two teams, both teams always complain that the other team has some sort of unfair advantage. In reality, neither team understands the true length of a minute and thinks they’re being cheated on time
Divorce proceedings. Especially with kids involved.
It can turn a couple of average people into monsters.
‘Marriage Story’ captures this extremely well. By the end of it, I just hated lawyers
and it isn't even an exaggeration of what really happens.
I have a co worker who is a great, fun, respectful person who told me her divorce proceedings went very similarly to what happened in the film.
they both agreed to go on with the divorce without getting lawyers involved but then started getting frustrated with each other and it eventually evolved into bickering from both sides. this, in turn, led to them getting anxiety from talking to each other and getting lawyers, which led to more animosity.
it has been 4 years and they're only now starting to get on better terms than they were when the divorce was finalized.
“Listen, if we start from a place of reasonable and they start from a place of crazy, when we settle, we will be somewhere between reasonable and crazy.”
Unfortunately, this became more relatable than I would have imagined.
When I was a kid, prolly like grade 5-6, my mom thought itd be a cool present to open a bank account for me with some money in it already. I was super excited to have my own card like a big kid.
My dad wasn't in the best place at the time. My parents had divorced because he was going down a spiral of drug abuse, and my mom didn't want me exposed to that. I saw him on weekends, but lived with my mom.
Fast forward to my birthday, and my mom put 100$ into my account, which was a HUGE amount for a kid. Went to make my first purchase, a game for my xbox360, card declined. Weird. Check my balance, -25$. Found out a week later my dad had stolen the money from my account to fuel his addiction.
He was usually the nicest, most caring, and funny guy out there. But when he got desperate, he'd do some really shitty things
I would just like to clarify, my dad is doing way better now. He repayed the money he stole almost as soon as he confessed, and immediately went to rehab. After a few failed attempts, he has now been drug free for 7 years, and is a very good dad overal now. Thank you all for your kind words though ❤️❤️
Good to see another member of the shitty dad club! My father had terrible addiction problems. Major alcoholic, would do any drug he could get his hands on (constantly lying to the doctor for them. Shit wouldn't fly today but it certainly did back then) When I had my tonsils taken out, my mom made me hide my bottle of liquid codeine - we cut open a hole in a pillow and stuffed it there. Fucked up thing for a 13 year old to have to do - hide their pain meds from their dad. He still found it and took half the bottles worth and replaced it with water. Then when I had my wisdom teeth taken out, my mom hid my oxy pills in a safe. A SAFE. Her and dad got into a huge blow out when he was caught trying to bust the thing open. He kept screaming about how much he takes care of "the kid" and she can "fucking share, his back hurts"
It's a damn shame, cause my dad was a cool dude before the addictions. I have fond memories of him when I was a youngster, up til age 7. He passed away last year. Wish his life had taken a different direction.
I’m so sorry dude, I can’t imagine being ten and having to process that happening
This is what my high school social teacher drove home in every lesson about tragedies. People do “bad” things out of desperation, like a dog will chew off its leg to get out of a trap. I’m really thankful that that man was my teacher.
Absolutly this. Especially these days when people are stressed to fuck and losing their income. Causes people to take drastic measures they wouldn't normally even consider.
Also addicts to support their habit
I've seen both my family and friends' families absolutely RIPPED apart after someone dies and another family member doesn't feel they've "received their share" or that the will was unfair or that property mysteriously goes missing before the estate is settled.
Awful, awful stuff.
I think the worst is my friend's dad and his sister haven't spoken for over 30 years due to a squabble over their mother's will. THIRTY YEARS. The kicker is that they're both quite well off on their own - friend's dad is a very, very successful trial lawyer and friend's aunt married a successful doctor. This wasn't money either of them ever actually needed, but they've not had a relationship for decades because of it... :-(
My grandmother isn't even dead and people are already deciding how they'll split the inheritance like their won't be a will. She's got hundreds of thousand and I've been consistently telling her to spend it all on herself. The lady never had a brand new car in all her life. She's 90 and got her license before she hit 20, she bought a thicc ass CR-V recently and a house for her and her daughter, cash.
I’m honestly worried about what’s gonna happen to my dad if he dies. Like my aunts (which I absolutely despise) already act as if he owes them money, car rides, places to party, etc simply cause he has a little bit more money than they do. These are the people who constantly throw him in the dirt and call him a retard, and I absolutely think they will harass me for money when he dies, yet he refuses to create a will. They’ve done that same shit with my grandma but she’s had a will for years and years.
I don't know where you live, so it migjt bw different than Canada, but in absence of a will, it goes by default to the
Spouse> Kids> Parents> Siblings> Grandparents> Uncles/Aunts> Cousins> and after that I don't know
Oh, that’s the same here as well. I likely will get everything (if anything at all). I meant I’m moreso worried when he dies cause they’ll all come after me. They’re a bunch of crooks and I don’t doubt that they’d try immediately breaking into his house to steal stuff.
My wife is in healthcare and says you can often tell when someone in serious condition has a lot of money because the extended family all show up but the vibe isn't sad so much as expectant.
She was recovering one patient from an unexpected surgery (elderly, coming out of sedation, covered in tubes, oxygen, etc.) and the family arrived and told my wife they'd decided to "pull the plug" and she had to explain that their family member was not dying, not on life support, and would probably recover just fine, which seemed to elicit some consternation instead of relief. Kinda seems like an inheritance was on the table...
We can also tell when someone is getting disability checks. No one comes to visit, ever, and things start going south for the patient so we call to say “hey, things are getting bad, they’re still a full code, are you *sure* you want to put 98 year old grandma who’s been in a coma for the past 6 months through all of this??” “Yep! She’s a fighter! Keep her alive as long as possible! I live 2 miles from the hospital but I’ll never come visit, I’ll just occasionally call to check up at 2am when the bars close. Byeee!”
It sounds like my dad's sister. My aunt was another addict that robbed her mother blind and took so much money from her, even before she died. She got a majority of the inheritance and was too high to even show up to her own mom's funeral. She would eventually OD and die a couple years later and there was no sympathy for her.
My grandmother died following a surgery for a perforated ulcer and had been on a ventilator and she was frantically trying to tell my parents something when they visited her, but she was vented and on propofol, so she couldn't speak and was too loopy to write. It was only after she passed and we found out she was forced to change her will that we realized she was probably trying to tell them about that.
The REALLY insulting part is my aunt is completely mentally deficient and "invested" all of that money into a *pyramid scheme.* She stole all of that money just so she could go into debt with it when I was planning on using my share to help fund my education. It's been years and I'm still so angry.
Not just for success. I’ve seen many relationships crumble because someone was happier than the other.
I live on a major 4-lane road going into the city, and the number of times I hear people screaming at each other over the smallest traffic infractions is honestly frightening. That, and all the car horns, which I jokingly refer to as the “Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra’s horn section “.
A person who is cut off while driving: "F u!!!"
That same person who is cut off while walking: "Oop! Sorry! After you!"
It's really hard to kill someone by walking into them. It's really easy to kill someone by driving into them. I think the stakes and the stress that comes with them are what makes the difference here.
Really good point^
I agree. Besides killing someone, bumping into someone on the side walk won't cost 1000's of dollars. Bumping into someone's car just might cost you... Or kill them...
You don't walk around carrying your collection of faberge eggs everywhere you go?
I always liked the HALT rule. If you're feeling Hungry, Angry, Late or Tired then it's likely things you say or do will come off worse than you intend.
Edit; lot's of replies about the L being lonely. That works too! Turns out learning acronyms differently brings out the worst in some people too!
One of my favorite quotes that is related to this,
"If you think everyone hates you, you probably need to sleep. - If you think you hate everyone, you probably need to eat."
I've never heard this before, but I like it. Thank you
I feel like this is how I got fat 🤣
I thought the L was for lonely. Both work!
The word "free" in a retail or restaurant type of setting. People will trample one another, take ALL of the items so there aren't any for others, gorge themselves, try to sneak food out with them. It's disgusting.
Definitely. I work at a golf course and we had a membership level that was clearly listed as “Free afternoon golf (cart fee required)”. Essentially at a lot of courses your paying for the round of golf + the cart. At least 75% just saw the word “free” and stopped reading there. They’d get furious at us like “BUT IT SAYS FREE”, or just try to walk straight on. It was only like $15-20 depending on the time of year when rounds would go for $60-$80 and they STILL complained. Paying such a cheap price to play what is seen as an expensive sport still isn’t good enough for some.
ugh, they stop reading after the word free is sooo true!
In retail the whole poster is printed in big bold letters, even explaining the conditions.
'So it's free ?!'
Had too many times I had to explain it while checking them out at the register and the whole line would look at me like I was the one holding everything up. No, I don't have the power to be rude and they don't understand the conditions.
It's like when Denny's did their free breakfast promotion a few years ago, and had to create a second day to do it because they were slammed. People were coming from over an hour away to Denny's for a free breakfast.
Imagine driving any period of time, then actually waiting for a period of time, then having slow service because of how slammed it is...for *Denny's*. For a mediocre breakfast that's like $5 in the first place and you wouldn't go across the street for normally.
The local Jimmy John's has a free sandwich day every year.
I knew someone that went for it back in 2019. The line stretched down the street, and he was in line for 3 1/2 hours, all so he could get a free Jimmy John's sub.
3 1/2 hours waiting in line, for a $5 sub.
It really is unreal what people will do for free shit.
That is absolute insanity!
I work in a shopping center that has a Jimmy Johns and have seen a line wrapped around the whole building for a free sandwich. I would rather pay full price than wait in a line like that. Jimmy johns is ok at best anyway.
I was going to say that.
The first manager who comped product due to poor service really screwed it up for everyone. Now I have to listen to someone who wants something for free because the box has a dent in it.
There was a clinic in my city that wanted to try the robin hood style service where they would charge well off patients but treat the poor for free. This ended up backfiring as they got flooded with poor patients and even those who could afford treatment pretending to not be able to. They closed down and presumably moved location within a year.
Edit: Third world country with a good portion of lower income families, lazy enforcement of laws, and id-ing of citizens.
I mean, of course thats not going to work. Because very rarely are people going to choose to pay for something if they don't have to. And what you "can" afford is relative
That’s good morals, but business 101 TERRIBLE business practice.
Yep, and there are customers that deliberately pick something that’s not broken but may have visible damage like a scratch or what you mentioned, a dent. Not enough to make it unusable but enough so they’ll ask “is this discounted because it’s damaged?” To which I reply “no, but thank you for notifying me of the damage” and I happily take it and tell them I’m damaging it out.
Edited to add: retail workers aren’t allowed to just give out discounts even if we agree that it should be discounted and I said “happily” because too many people are rude about it in the first place. I also want discounts if possible but working for a corporation means following store policy :/
I had the opposite happen to me a while back! I was picking out an electric guitar and I picked one out that I really liked. I brought it up front and they were looking over it and we were talking about it and they mentioned a very small dent in the wood on the back of the guitar and they asked me if I wanted this one since it was damaged. I hadn’t even noticed it until they pointed it out, so I said yes. That small dent knocked the price down by about a third! It was so awesome of them!
That’s so cool of them! Sounds like a good store!
My sister works in retail and so many customers try this. “Oh the thread is coming off here can I get a discount?” The employees will then tell them it can’t be sold in that condition and take it away. A lot of the customers try to argue that that is the particular shirt/trousers/ dress they really want but they’ve gotten so sick of customers trying to get a discount
If we would start giving discounts on slightly damaged packaging, customers would start slightly damaging packaging to get a discount.
People already do that
Some good answers here, to which I'll add: Giving things away for free.
I've had the surreal experience of working at a Long Island tennis tournament attended by generally very wealthy people. They arrived in top-end luxury cars or limos, wearing designer clothes, and watches worth more than my car. I was tasked with opening a case of some sort of little branded tchotchke, like cheap pens, keychains, etc. and handing them out to the attendees as they walked the sponsor areas.
People went berserk: shoving each other, lunging across the table (thank cripes there was a table) to grab stuff from my hand, missing key tennis matches to lurk by our tent, awaiting the next crap dispersal, wow. I've seen this type of thing happen many other times too, with people going to great lengths just to get some pittance of which they have no need.
EDIT: Wow, lots of you have seen this phenomenon in action! Thanks for the discussion. To clarify, I picked on the rich Long Islanders and many pointed out that the rich are that way because they go after free stuff. But it happens anywhere the giveaways happen; poor, average, and rich alike behave like this.
And yeah! I can't overlook an opportunity to use "tchotchke" in conversation!
There was a line in Crazy Rich Asians, "No one loves free stuff more than rich people"
I was floored how in the book all these extremely wealthy women who flew to Paris on a private jet that had a state of the art yoga studio inside of it, wanted to take all of the hotel freebies, bottled water and cook ramen in their hotel room LOL.
Or when Astrid was bidding for those scrolls but whipped out a stack of coupons at the grocery store, lol.
I leave stuff out by the road with a sign on it so I don't have to deal with anyone.
I used to post whenever I'd leave shit on the curb for people to take. And I'd also get a lot of "Can you deliver to..." I always say, "If I have to drive anywhere to get this stuff off my property its going to the dump. The reason its on the curb right now is because I'm lazy. Good luck!"
>And I'd also get a lot of "Can you deliver to..."
Yeah, I've gotten that when posting free stuff on Craigslist. WTF, man?
My father is a minister. He says he would rather help with a funeral over a wedding any day. Weddings leave people with a sense of extreme desperation to achieve perfection.
My experience with this is that if you have a narcissistic family it will become abundantly clear that they are not interested in your life what so ever.
Thanks to Covid it didn’t really happen as planned so my family wasn’t involved at all. We did a small ceremony with a few members of her family and it was lovely.
It really worked out for the best.
Red flags were flying the moment I told my mom and she was upset that I didn’t tell her first. My sister led with, “ I’m not going if you invite Dad.” My uncle and aunt rescinded their RSVP when we said we’d have to wait for all the RSVPs to come in before we let them add my cousin’s boyfriend to the invitation. My other cousin got really upset that we weren’t opening the wedding up to let kids be there. Apparently MY WEDDING was going to be the opportunity for the rest of the family to see her infant.
Lots of revelations were had. I’m sad my wife didn’t have the wedding we worked hard for but I’m glad it was really only around her family.
That sucks. I am sorry that happened to you. When I was planning my wedding the only drama was my dad got upset when he misunderstood receiving a save the date to mean I wasn't having him walk me down the aisle. After I explained he was still that was over with. Turns out all he cared about was making sure he got to walk me down the aisle.
This was going to be my answer. I have watched two people that I knew to be kind and rational, become absolutely horrible people when they were planning their weddings. Ungrateful, rude, pushy, demanding, crazy, and overall just awful to be around. It’s like they became possessed.
The worst is when the expectation for perfection is from the mother of the bride and not the engaged couple. Nothing worse than two kids trying to have a nice day and momzilla just fucking decimates it because she can’t stand not being the center of attention for one moment.
As someone in the wedding industry, this right fucking here.
As a hotel waiter who’s served too many weddings, what’s your secret to not dying of an aneurysm, I’m on the fucking brink
Find somewhere quiet for a moment, take a few deep breaths, and then sneak a few of the drinks as quickly as possible.
Abso-fucking-lutely. Finding a nice quiet corner away from the hustle and bustle and taking a few min to get your bearings probably saved me from quitting on the spot multiple times.
When I used to work at a banquet hall as a server, our coordinator (essentially our manager’s manager) would sneak us drinks when the night was particularly shitty, good times.
Another thing I remember is that for some particular reason, people who went to weddings felt super entitled to extra service, which increased the closer that person happened to be related to the bride or groom (not every wedding, just some). It’s like, “no ma’am these dishes are made to order and there are 600 of you and 20 of us to serve you, I cannot go and tell the chefs to remove the tomato just because you don’t want to eat it. What’s that? You want me to get you a drink from the bar? Sorry, no can do, gotta go hand out the rest of the food to the rest of the tables. Oh you want to see my manager? She’s right over there, running around trying to coordinate everyone. I can’t even stop her, so you’re welcome to attempt to do so yourself.” (Heavily paraphrased but almost accurate conversation I had to have with somebody over a fucking tomato)
And the kids. Ohhhhh if there’s something I can live the rest of my life without ever having to deal with again is having some little spawn of satan running around the hall at light speed while food is being served, just to have him ram full speed into my leg, causing me to drop, and break, some drinking glasses, to which this little child falls into said shards of glass, and me standing there getting berated by the parent for “harassing their kid” and “it’s our cousins wedding he can do what he wants” when I try to explain that everyone was told to sit down until the food was done being served (again, actual situation that I had to deal with when working there). My parents would whoop my ass if I ever acted like that, both as a kid running around and as an adult whining about food.
We had this happen even though we didn't have a formal wedding due to covid.
We wanted just a small gathering of immediate family + wedding party for dinner and MIL:
1) invited her extended family + friends of hers that I don't really know at all. Wedding party declined to come because she invited so many people during a pandemic so my best man didn't see me on my wedding day.
2) changed up our chosen catering plans and ordered different food without telling us.
3) bought us a wedding cake in flavors I don't like, then ate the top piece we we're saving because I didn't like it (wife did).
4) was supposed to stay with us for a few days then stay with friends, and instead was with us for a month leading up to the wedding and two weeks afterwards.
5) threw a tantrum with my wife when we tried to "set limits on her" because we "were singling her out"
edit: getting a ton of replies so I'll consolidate some of my replies here:
- We did indeed confront her and made her uninvite her friends. Wedding party still did not attend, including best man, but he had a newborn at the time so I do not blame him for not risking it.
- Regarding #4 the invasion of privacy was still super annoying, but to her credit she did pay for everything for us during that time as well as cook for us and clean, so she was carrying her weight even if it was unwanted. Overall still something we talked to her about.
2, 3, and 5 were annoying though and eventually my wife exploded on her for it. Definitely a scenario where boundaries had not properly been established and had been completely crossed. I think she felt entitled as she was paying for it, which still does not make it okay.
Wow. I hope the boundary talk has been had since this wedding took place, or you are in for it :)
Yep exactly. It's even worse when there's divorced parents involved, and they're both trying to up the other one or think they shouldn't be involved. The level of pettiness and arguments with it is insane, and it doesn't even end up being about the couple anymore.
When you were told to wait 20 minutes and it's now been 21 minutes and you are still waiting
I worked in customer service jobs for years and would also do this. We were trained to under promise then over deliver
Most of us are capable of being decent human beings who make a positive contribution to society. You add stress into the mix and people start to crack.
Financial stress, relationship stress, work stress, it doesn’t matter. When our focus is pulled into simply surviving and staying afloat, our ability to empathize or provide support to others greatly diminishes.
I think this is tied in with the low morale we are all experiencing right now...we’re all unbelievably stressed. I’ve seen some of the nicest people completely snap and act shockingly because they just can’t take the pressure anymore.
Add lack of sleep and you get a human grenade. You don't know where or how, but they're going to go off.
Exactly - and stress Leads to insomnia or night mares for many, so it‘s a circle. You sleep less, have no energy, more stress, even less sleep and so on till one snaps and it‘s a desaster.
Compounded stress - stress from two or more areas really fuck you up
you're really screwed when you start stressing about how much you're stressed....
edit: holy cow this blew up. Thanks [u/Sofubar](https://www.reddit.com/u/Sofubar) and [u/Spacemanspalds] for the silver!
Or keep failing every time you try to do something about it
That's the worst feeling in the world. You can't solve any problems because new ones arise or complications occur in the existing ones
I'm so guilty of this. When I get very stressed, it really brings out the worst in me. I get irritated easily and even the littlest thing makes me angry. I would lash out for the tiniest thing and hate myself for it after.
Stress is a way of life in 2021. Our days are to-do lists that we never finish.
Hunger can make people do things they never thought they were capable of doing. It can drive you mind out of control.
This is why the food bank is my favorite charity to give to. I've never experienced true food insecurity, but I've been moderately hungry from time to time and notice how terrible everything becomes from your mood to the ability to function. How can anyone hope to improve their situation in life with that kind of constant debuff?
I joked as a child once when all we had in the fridge and pantry were condiments, that I called dibs on the steak sauce. I am always thankful for how much my parents did and do with so little.
I can’t imagine having steak sauce. It’s so weird the things you think about and just roll with when really that’s all you can do.
When I was in elementary school they didn’t have school lunches. I kept the same smashed cotto salami sandwich in my desk for the week because I didn’t want anyone to know I didn’t have lunch.
Now my kid stands in a kitchen full of food and complains there is nothing to eat. Drives me bonkers, but also what a sense of relief that this is the tragedy for them.
Yep. I never really thought of us as “food insecure”, be no one ever said “you can’t eat that”, but often dinner for 10 was a dozen eggs and french fries, or two cans of corned beef hash, or pancakes. I didn’t eat breakfast once I realized that it made it easier to skip lunch. I would have fried hard rolls with jelly, or coffee until I saved up enough for grilled cheese.
Being hangry is a cute word for a real phenomenon. Hunger often makes people cranky and tempers short. I, too, have read that civilization is 3 missed meals away from anarchy.
Edit: My memory was a bit off regarding this quote. The more accurate paraphrase of the quote is that civilization is 9 meals away from chaos. So, 3 days of missed meals rather than 3 missed meals.
Thanks to those that responded and pointed out my underestimation!
When I go out with my two friends, one of them brings snacks for the other because she knows she gets grumpy when hungry.
My family went on a trip with my grandma and she was being an absolute BITCH. By day two everyone was like holy shit this was a mistake. Normally she's the sweetest, but normally we're seeing her at her house, where strategically placed trays of bite-sized chocolates are always within reach. My dad figured it out mid-morning day 3 and it was a complete 180. She was a joy the whole rest of the trip. He'd just hand her chocolate every 2 hours or so.
I think I see a Snickers ad here.
Wait holy fuck I understand the Snickers ad now. I feel so stupid.
You're not you when you're hungry
Judges are more lenient after being fed: https://www.theguardian.com/law/2011/apr/11/judges-lenient-break
RIP all my peeps convicted before lunch
Without food and water, human civilization is 48 hours away from becoming vicious tribal warfare.
Funerals. All the heightened emotions make people irrational. Any buried family drama comes out at the worst possible time. I've been caught in the middle of it before. I didn't even know the deceased, I was there supporting my friend who had lost her mother. Someone decided this was the time to air a 20 year old grudge as my friend walked by. My friend was so caught off guard by the accusations she was speechless. I told this crazy lady this wasn't the time or the place for this conversation so she turned on me. Next thing I knew some other family member was violently yanking her out of the room! I guess it could have been worse, but why did you have to make a scene at a funeral?
I'm still ashamed of how i acted at my cousins funeral. His wife, whom he adored, had cheated on him and moved out with that dude, he killed himself shortly after (we assume, marine Corp still wont tell us cause of death). She not only showed up but gave a speech with SUPER fake tears about how in love they were. My uncle had to forcibly hold me back from attacking her. Here its HIS sons funeral and hes has to be feeling this much worse than me bit hes gotta hold ME back. I apologized later obviously. Also fuck you straight to hell Whitney.
My great grandmother died a few years back and my aunt told my other aunt’s son that he looked handsome and that she was excited for him to start at *insert SEC school here* at the reception and he decided to rip absolute ass in front of her in response.
He.... farted on her?
Well (in a French accent) IN HER GENERAL DIRECTION
Was her father a hamster, by chance?
Anonymity. Putting a mask on, being on the internet, or otherwise concealing one's identity. People do some very fucked up things when they know they won't be held accountable.
This reminds me of when Instagram introduced the Questions Sticker to the Stories part of the app in 2018. People thought they could ask questions anonymously, but the app shows you who asked the question. I'd like to think that hundreds of friendships were broken that week when the feature was implemented.
Edit: 2018, not 1018
>People thought they could ask questions anonymously
that was a rude awakening for a lot of people i think. i remember a radio host in my city had to make a instagram story stating that the feature is not anonymous and that he could see the rude and hateful messages people were sending, or the very personal ones asking about exes and family members. he went on to say that people need to watch what they say online, cause some times when you think you're being anonymous, you aren't.
>cause some times when you think you're being anonymous, you aren't.
You're never anonymous online.
Yes you are David.
I'm sorry David, I'm afraid I can't delete that...
This reminds me of how some reddit users *forget* they have a user profile that others can look into and they start bullshitting in threads to drive a narrative, and even pretending to be all kinds of people to do so. I myself came across a user who admitted in a comment that he vandalized his ex's car/house (I forget what) or something like that and in his post history he had a picture of himself and his dog.
Many people even mix up their stories and I have seen many-a teengers talk about things they "experienced" in the 70s era. There account clearly showed a teenager.
what kind of questions did people ask that would break friendships?
i wasnt on insta at that time, but i would assume stuff like what do you hate most about so so, or i really hate this person do you hate them, i hate this movie and such, like basically hate things
People said the same thing when Facebook was opened to the masses instead of just college kids.
Turns out that even when you see someone's name and are one click away from seeing where they live, where they work, and who their family is, people will still be shitweasels.
The internet has proven that. Although even Facebook has shown that some people still don't care, they'll say the worst things and be proud of it.
When a loved one dies. People get really, really weird in a bad way about money and stuff. I know a bunch of people who had relatives who flat out stole money and valuables after the death of a family member. It's crazy. My own family has a permanent rift because when my grandmother died, two of the five siblings cleaned out her accounts.
Hell, they don't even have to be dead. When my great grandmother moved from her apartment to a nursing home some of her children and grandkids "helped" her pack up her apartment, by which I mean it was a full on feeding frenzy of theft. She was a 87 year old woman who had been widowed for about 50 years at that point so she certainly wasn't wealthy, but some of those people would have ripped down the wallpaper if they thought they could have sold it.
Get grandma an estate lawyer and draw up an ironclad will immediately, because your family is headed into a serious legal shitstorm when she dies. Voice of experience.
They don't even have to be in a nursing home! My parent and their siblings started fighting over their inheritance twenty five years before their dad died. I told him he should spend it all before he died but he was old school and frugal and didn't want to travel or anything like that. My parents won't leave me anything and I have nothing to leave my kids but I almost feel like it's better this way if it means no one will turn into a greedy monster.
My dirtbag cousin stole about $40,000 cash that his dad had stashed in the house, when both of his parents were in a nursing home. My cousin had been a real asshole to a lot of people over the years, but this was the final straw. I never spoke to him again. He died a few years later. Tbh, I didn’t mourn.
40k. Damn that aint no pocket change.
Thats enough money for the IRS to flag you down 4 times over.
All depends on where you put it. He said it was cash, so you can easily blow through that on a private sale of a vehicle, maybe a nice new TV, etc.
Or, like, drugs.
Oh, lots of drugs of course.
if it you hadn't added "widowed for 50 years" i'd have thought you were in my family
Same thing happened in my family. Aunts fighting over china they all laughed about being so ugly for years. Arguing over where all the money went, which they would have known there wasn't any if they'd been involved in their father's life before he died. Fortunately my grandfather knew how they were, though it broke his heart, and was smart enough to give the things that meant the most to him to the people that were there for him, some of them decades before his death. Even still the greedy bitches tried to get their hands on those things. I've had his guns since I was 10, no you can't have them appraised and expect me to pay the "estate" for them 40 years later. GTFO.
My grandmother passed and her brother in law was trying to get in her trailer before the funeral was even over. We pulled up when he was trying to break in. Then my grandmother's 4th husband's daughter in law took my grandmother's wedding ring, even though my mom, her actual daughter, was going to have it. My mom didn't want to fight over it so she let her have it.
My mother in law said she's already bought new locks for her mother's house to put on the day she passes because extended family will swoop in and clean out the house.
Not as important as a wedding ring, but when my mom’s grandmother died, all she wanted was this old cookie jar she had. Sentimental reasons cause she remembered getting cookies at her grandma’s. Instead a cousin or something took it and eventually passed it on to her daughter. The person who currently has it was born AFTER my moms grandma died.
This is what I immediately thought of. You'd think the death of a loved one would bring everyone together in a family. Nope, that's a Halmark movie, in real life grief and grievances, resentments and greed come out. It's happened over and over again in my family and I hate it.
This is why an ironclad will is essential. Everyone seems to have stories like this when a family member dies. It happened on my mother and father's side. The combination of grief, anger, old grudges, and greed cause people to get nasty.
Came here to say this. When my mom died, one of my aunts who wasn't close to her at all kept saying my mom had promised her different things. Even my uncle told her to stop. She still kept insisting. Even my friendly relatives were after her stuff.
Yeah, witnessed this when my grandfather died. Grandmum was still alive but couldn’t live alone so the house had to be emptied and sold while she moved into an elderly home.
But the same day my grandfather died, my aunt started rummaging, hoping to find some hidden cash or taking valuable things without anyone noticing. (My mom knew it right away though) And she couldn’t even be bothered to visit her own mum at the elderly home, gave away their dog that she was supposed (and agreed!) to look after and the only time she came to visit, it was about money. Even though grandmum had dementia and all, she realized it and said she only had one real daughter (my mom) so yeah...
and when grandmum passed away, that -beep- was arguing and fighting about money, hiring her own lawyer/notary to make sure we weren’t keeping anything from her.
Should’ve seen it coming though, she was a mooch all her damn life. We all cut her out of our lives, hope to never see her again.
This, a lot. My sister and I have different dads. When our mom died, there was nothing, I went into debt keeping a roof over her head and my sister helped very very little (think a couple hours a week for two weeks over a 6 month period). She told her dad that I got life insurance and wouldn't give her any (he was rich). I found out a year after our mom died when we were visiting her dad and his "gf" told me about it and how I should have gotten the money since I took care of her. She said my sister kept calling upset about how unfair it was that I got life insurance that our mom wanted to go to both of us and I wouldn't share with her. Truth is I got some money from social security and spent more than half of it buying her a new mattress for her birthday/christmas. I had to drive back home with her the next day (4 hours) I was so angry. The day after was the year anniversary and she had sent me a text saying something about how she missed mom and all that jazz. I asked her why her father thought I got life insurance she claimed she had no idea why he would. When her dad died his "gf" had taken care of him for like 10 years and was promised certain things. He was in a different state; what I didn't realize when I drove my sister there for the funeral was she was there to take his car. She got everything but had to let the "gf" stay in one of the houses. The entire time we were there (we were supposed to be there 3 days) she kept saying "if she fights me she wont get anything" second thing we did in town after she tried to steal the car was see the attorney. 100% my sister was looking to screw everyone. I left day early (right after the funeral) because I could not stay another night with her. I felt so bad for the "gf" and family because she was HORRIBLE. It wasn't really a surprise, but how extreme she went I could not deal with. She found out I still spend time with the "gf" and her family she got extremely mad at me and sent me nasty texts.
People get real stupid when it comes to their kids. The "my baby can do no wrong" attitude when your child is fucking shit up needs to stop.
This is the worst, my family is friends with a group of families who’ve known each other for a while. We went to one of their birthday’s and the youngest kid ran up and licked the birthday cake??? He was also overall being a little shit and everyone was laughing and all like “haha, that’s just his personality!” I got so pissed I wanted to leave.
Ugh. This 100%. It's bad enough with concert ticket resellers but the scumbags will do it with anything. There's a new Lego Bonsai Tree set my girlfriend wants and its her birthday soon. It's sold out. Everywhere. But there are 100s of them on eBay at inflated prices. The top one has '19 sold' on it.
I bought mine from target but it really confuses me why people are trying to resell the newest legos...theyre gonna restock at some point and even so after ebay fees and shipping theyre making like 5 dollars I dont get their logic unless they straight up stole them
I agree with this, it’s happened many of times before and it will happen again.
Not being accepted by other people. Social contact and validation is no different from food or water. Yes, people can starve on validation too. That's why simple things like greeting strangers in the street, or always saying 'thank you' are so critically important.
Unprocessed trauma from childhood. As someone that is struggling with mental health, I'm only now beginning to understand why I do a lot of what I do. When our needs for love and acceptance aren't met, we seek out soothing behaviors that numb the pain. It's really easy to end up in midlife with no real idea what it means to be happy and feeling no connection to others. As you begin to work on your issues, you find that the soothing behaviors are no longer as soothing because you know why you're doing it. So, you're stuck with the emptiness that you've always felt and no way to get out of the feeling.
I was looking for this answer. When something triggers you and reminds you of past trauma, that brings out the absolute worst in you, because you panic and it’s hard to control.
I just feel permanently triggered. My brain is hyper-vigilante and doesn't know how to relax. The result is that I'm unable to relate to people on a higher-functioning social level. It's hard to enjoy small-talk when your brain is scanning for tigers. The resulting social failures only reinforce the feeling of isolation.
>I'm unable to relate to people on a higher-functioning social level.
Hey u/Skinoob38 \- I'm not a therapist, and it might sound a little weird, but if you want to practice small talk with me, I would be happy to exchange messages anonymously and without any pressure of timing or anything. I understand the feeling of being constantly in defense mode like ninjas are going to jump out of every bird that moves. If typing to someone is helpful, I'm around.
Hope you are doing well!
League of Legends
Amen. Something about that game makes people go ape-shit.
I love how i was seeing all serious thing and the out of nowhere "league of legends"
Agreed. See it all the time in the military. Just because someone is placed in a position of power doesn’t mean they’re going to be a good leader.
"Power is dangerous. It corrupts the best and attracts the worst. Power is only given to those who are prepared to lower themselves to pick it up." (Rangar Lothbrok, *Vikings*)
To that extent, the opposite is true too. Lack of control in ones life can lead to lashing out at partners/family/friends. It can cause depression and a whole host of problems if you feel you have little to no control of the things in your life.
Balance is essential to us.
Almost every dictatorship ever. They don't want to lose their power.
Reminds me of a quote I heard recently, “What’s the one thing that people with power want? More Power.”
Traffic, the after work rush home is the worst.
Everyone is tired, has generally had a bad day and will do anything just to get home and relax.
I-4 in Tampa is basically mad max fury road but with regular cars.
thats the word, i was about to say jealousy and the constant need for revenge but ego fits better
It is easy to dehumanize people who are different than you when you never spend any time interacting with them.
Being challenged or "ganged up on."
My mother will freak out whenever she feels like either of these happening to her and she starts screaming. At those points, it's pretty much best to walk away and ignore her. Though she likes to say I'm "running away" from her. I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I needed to interact with your tantrum.
Every single answer so far ultimately ties back to fear.
Fear of losing money. Fear of losing power. Fear of losing livelihood. Fear of sickness or death. Fear of failure. Fear of missing out.
Fear, in any form, with any motivation, turns people into blind, panicky, stupid, vicious animals.
And then there are those who benefit or profit by stoking fear in people. They, obviously, are worse than animals, but are likewise motivated by those same fears above, creating a vicious fear circle.
Money. The moment money is involved, a person’s true nature comes out, and most of the time it won’t be pretty.
This reminds me of all the people who lost their money due to lotteries because so many people thought they deserved some of it till the actual winner had nothing left.
I did an April Fools prank many years back, where I posted a pic of a legit scratch off ticket, but used Microsoft Paint to cut/paste the winning symbols over the losing symbols, so it looked like I won $1 million.
Man, the # of people that were texting me telling me congrats, etc, was off the charts. I only had one person ask me for money, but that's probably because I only let the prank go on for like 2-3 days.
Probably also because $1 million isn't Oprah giveaway rich. Try $10 million, people will stalk you for "investment opportunities" or tell you a sob story.
An acquaintance of mine was telling me how his MIL won on a scratch ticket. He then complained about the amount she was giving to her kids. The total won wasn't a whole lot, and really not enough to be gifting others, but she was still generous enough to think of them.
Former Legal Assistant here- I’m telling you, you don’t ever see the worst in someone until you’re in the middle of a nasty divorce fighting for custody of your children. It’s horrendous how evil some people can be to someone they once loved.
Basically any game where you can really fuck over your friends and family.
See, my family used to embrace that.
My brother, my step-siblings, and I used to play a version of *Monopoly* which was essentially *Calvinball* on a board. The goal was to enrage each other, which would then prompt exaggerated laughter from the others. This entire game was played while we drank sparkling cider (which was our stand-in for champagne) directly from the bottle.
On one memorable occasion, I "won" by robbing the bank, then insisting that the manager had owed me a favor. My brother shouted about how I was cheating, which signaled my victory.
I've always kinda thought stealing from the Monopoly bank is in the spirit of the game.
These games are a lot more fun when everyone knows and understands beforehand that everybody’s about to go apeshit primal and fuck everyone as hard as they can. It’s fun being an asshole in an environment where everyone understands and is also being an asshole. That way nobody’s feelings actually get hurt
Basically, monopoly is super fun when everybody’s cheating, but fucks up friendships when only one person is cheating
Mario Kart got ugly at our house when my siblings and I were teenagers. We didn't have a Nintendo but back in the days of Blockbuster, we could rent one for the weekend, so we'd literally play for two or three days straight. I can still remember my mum yelling at us from upstairs at 4am because she could hear us cursing each other out.
With the extended family it was euchre. That shit was a blood sport. My aunt once tore into my sister and told her to "grow a pair" when they were losing. My sister was 9.
Custody battles. Holy fuck
"You want to see a criminal on their best behavior go to criminal court. If you want to see average Joe and Cathy on their worst behavior go to family court"
Bullying. I got bullied a lot in primary school. As soon as I got rid of my bullies in secondary school, I started bullying other people in my new school. I regret it, I was such a dick then.
But at the same time it can bring out the strength you never thought you had, too.
This 100% it seems like pain can literally and figuratively make or break you. I have many people in my life with chronic pain. You'd be talking and they'd suddenly go quiet, or politely excuse themselves and later you find out they were in agony. On the flip side, I've been waiting in the ER and heard people screaming and cursing at doctors for symptoms that the person I was with was feeling tenfold.
Of course pain is subjective and all that, but definitely so is the response. I'm not as saying those that lash out in pain are nesseccarily bad either.I guess...I just wonder what the threshold is? What would turn ME into a thrashing ball of pain and fury instead of the graceful martyr. Hope I never find out...
Death in the family.
Nothing draws the worst of the worst extended family out from under their rock like the prospects of free shit.